Why did Frankenstein’s monster give up boxing?
Because he didn’t want to spoil his looks.
What did Dr. Frankenstein say when Pinocchio’s nose grew?
IT’S A LIEEEEE!!
Who did Frankenstein take to the prom?
His ghoul friend.
Frankenstein's monster and the bride of Frankenstein sit down for dinner
Bride: How come you never help with the dinner
Frankenstein: I did
Bride: How?
Frankenstein: I did the mash...
Bride: Don't you dare
What is Frankenstein’s favorite cheese?
Muenster.
Why did Dr. Frankenstein hire Igor as his assistant?
He had a hunch about him.
What was the inscription on the tomb of Frankenstein’s monster?
HERE LIES FRANKENSTEIN’S MONSTER. MAY HE REST IN PIECES.
Sad to hear that Baron von Frankenstein has given up on his dream of being an actor.
He couldn’t get the parts.
Frankenstein’s monster was really worried one day.
“Pull yourself together”, said Frankenstein.
How does Frankenstein jump-start his day?
With a shock of lighting.
What is Frankenstein’s favorite cheese?
Muenster.
How does Frankenstein speak?
Frankly.
Why was Frankenstein’s monster always being arrested?
He was so easy to charge.
Who will Frankenstein’s monster take to the dance?
Any old girl he can dig up.
Dr. Frankenstein just placed an order on Amazon.
It wasn't expensive, but I imagine the shipping cost him an arm and a leg.
What did Dr.Frankenstein say when his monster spat on him?
It’s saliva!
Why is Frankenstein’s monster so popular?
He’s a real people person.
Dr. Frankenstein: Igor, have you seen my latest invention? It’s a new pill consisting of 50 percent glue and 50 percent aspirin.
Igor: But what is it for?
Dr. Frankenstein: For monsters with splitting headaches.
How did Dr. Frankenstein pay the men who built his monster?
On a piece rate.
People say Frankenstein’s monster had a temper…
But actually he was surprisingly level-headed.
We all know Albert Einstein was a genius…
But his brother Frank was a monster.
Why doesn’t Frankenstein go on airplanes?
He can’t get past the airport metal detector.
What should you do when you see Frankenstein walking towards you?
Make a bolt for it.
People keep asking me why I’m working for Dr. Frankenstein.
I’m just trying to make a living.
Why is Frankenstein such good fun?
Because he soon has you in stitches.
Who brings the monsters their babies?
Frankenstork.
Frankenstein entered a body-building competition…
And soon found he had seriously misunderstood the objective.
Why is Frankenstein always asking for help?
He’s looking for someone to give him a hand.
What kind of dog did Frankenstein want for Christmas?
A lab.
Why did Frankenstein turn to solar?
For the free charge.
What did one of Frankenstein’s ears say to the other?
I didn’t know we lived on the same block.
Why didn’t Dr. Frankenstein ever make a second monster?
Because he just didn’t have the guts to do it again.
What’s Frankenstein’s favorite food?
Frankenfurters.
What happened when Frankenstein’s monster first met his girlfriend?
It was love at first fright.
Did you know Doctor Frankenstein used to be a lonely, lonely man?
Then he learned how to make friends.
What do you call the Frankenstein of the Gardening world?
An A-botan-ation.
What happened when Dr. Frankenstein swallowed some uranium?
He got atomic ache.
Dr. Frankenstein must have been pretty buff.
He was a bodybuilder, after all.
Why did Frankenstein tiptoe past the medicine cabinet?
He didn’t want to wake the sleeping pills!
What monster plays the most April Fool’s jokes?
Prankenstein!
What’s the best time for Frankenstein to go to a party?
Fright now.
What is Dr. Frankenstein’s favorite part of a company?
Human resources.
What happened when the ice monster had a furious row with Frankenstein?
He gave him the cold shoulder!
How did Frankenstein know Jesus was coming for a visit?
He used his frankincense.
What do you call a clever monster?
Frank Einstein.
What do you call it when Dr. Frankenstein makes tea?
A monstrositea.
I love making new friends.
That’s why I studied under Dr. Frankenstein.
What did Frankenstein say when he was struck by lightning?
Great! A jolt to the bolt!
How do you know Frankenstein is tired?
He’s dead on his feet.
Why did Frankenstein’s monster go to a psychiatrist?
He thought he had a screw loose.