What was the inscription on the tomb of Frankenstein’s monster?
HERE LIES FRANKENSTEIN’S MONSTER. MAY HE REST IN PIECES.
How do you know Frankenstein is tired?
He’s dead on his feet.
We all know Albert Einstein was a genius…
But his brother Frank was a monster.
Frankenstein entered a body-building competition…
And soon found he had seriously misunderstood the objective.
Why did Frankenstein’s monster go to a psychiatrist?
He thought he had a screw loose.
What monster plays the most April Fool’s jokes?
Prankenstein!
Why did Frankenstein’s monster give up boxing?
Because he didn’t want to spoil his looks.
How does Frankenstein jump-start his day?
With a shock of lighting.
How did Frankenstein know Jesus was coming for a visit?
He used his frankincense.
How did Dr. Frankenstein pay the men who built his monster?
On a piece rate.
What did Dr.Frankenstein say when his monster spat on him?
It’s saliva!
What happened when the ice monster had a furious row with Frankenstein?
He gave him the cold shoulder!
Why did Dr. Frankenstein hire Igor as his assistant?
He had a hunch about him.
What should you do when you see Frankenstein walking towards you?
Make a bolt for it.
Dr. Frankenstein just placed an order on Amazon.
It wasn't expensive, but I imagine the shipping cost him an arm and a leg.
Why doesn’t Frankenstein go on airplanes?
He can’t get past the airport metal detector.
What do you call the Frankenstein of the Gardening world?
An A-botan-ation.
I love making new friends.
That’s why I studied under Dr. Frankenstein.
What did one of Frankenstein’s ears say to the other?
I didn’t know we lived on the same block.
Why is Frankenstein such good fun?
Because he soon has you in stitches.
Why is Frankenstein always asking for help?
He’s looking for someone to give him a hand.
Dr. Frankenstein must have been pretty buff.
He was a bodybuilder, after all.
What did Frankenstein say when he was struck by lightning?
Great! A jolt to the bolt!
Frankenstein's monster and the bride of Frankenstein sit down for dinner
Bride: How come you never help with the dinner
Frankenstein: I did
Bride: How?
Frankenstein: I did the mash...
Bride: Don't you dare
Who brings the monsters their babies?
Frankenstork.
What did Dr. Frankenstein say when Pinocchio’s nose grew?
IT’S A LIEEEEE!!
Did you know Doctor Frankenstein used to be a lonely, lonely man?
Then he learned how to make friends.
Why is Frankenstein’s monster so popular?
He’s a real people person.
People keep asking me why I’m working for Dr. Frankenstein.
I’m just trying to make a living.
Why didn’t Dr. Frankenstein ever make a second monster?
Because he just didn’t have the guts to do it again.
What happened when Dr. Frankenstein swallowed some uranium?
He got atomic ache.
What tree monster prowls the forest?
Frankenpine.
How does Frankenstein speak?
Frankly.
Where does a thrifty Frankenstein get his limbs?
At the second-hand store.
People say Frankenstein’s monster had a temper…
But actually he was surprisingly level-headed.
Sad to hear that Baron von Frankenstein has given up on his dream of being an actor.
He couldn’t get the parts.
What is Frankenstein’s favorite cheese?
Muenster.
What happened when Frankenstein’s monster first met his girlfriend?
It was love at first fright.
Which musical group did Frankenstein not like at all?
The Village People.
What is Frankenstein’s favorite cheese?
Muenster.
What is Dr. Frankenstein’s favorite part of a company?
Human resources.
What kind of dog did Frankenstein want for Christmas?
A lab.
What do you call a clever monster?
Frank Einstein.
What do you call it when Dr. Frankenstein makes tea?
A monstrositea.
Dr. Frankenstein: Igor, have you seen my latest invention? It’s a new pill consisting of 50 percent glue and 50 percent aspirin.
Igor: But what is it for?
Dr. Frankenstein: For monsters with splitting headaches.
Why was Frankenstein’s monster always being arrested?
He was so easy to charge.
How does Frankenstein eat his dinner?
He bolts it down.
Why did Frankenstein tiptoe past the medicine cabinet?
He didn’t want to wake the sleeping pills!
Was there a spark between Frankenstein and his bride?
Yes, he simply couldn’t resistor.
Frankenstein’s monster was really worried one day.
“Pull yourself together”, said Frankenstein.