What do you call a group of brains who form a singing group at school?
A glia club.
What do you call a dog that likes to dig up bones?
A barkeologist.
My mate Gavin passed away from heartburn last week.
Still can’t believe Gaviscon
My favourite jokes are skeleton puns
Why? I find them humorous.
My hypochondriac brother just told me he thinks he's got a brain tumor.
I told him not to worry, it's probably all in his head.
What do you call a hat for the brain?
A thinking cap.
What kind of car did the heart surgeon drive to work?
A beater.
I was holding a bottle of laundry detergent when all of a sudden it exploded, completely drenching my hands.
Oh well. I guess my hands are Tide.
I lost my wrist watch somewhere near my house.
Now it’s the neighborhood watch.
What is a neuron's favorite television channel?
The Ion Channel
What has a head but no body, a heart but no blood, leaves but no branches and grows without wood?
Lettuce
Why were the two retinas such good friends?
They always saw eye-to-eye.
Why do youngsters like pelvic bones so much?
Because they're hip.
What do you call a person missing 75%, of their spine?
A quarterback.
I find bone puns very
Humerus.
What’s it called your backpack messes up your spine?
Schooliosis !
No! You can't force me to shave my forearms!
I have a right to bear arms!
If some of Fred Flintstone's neurotransmitters could talk, what would they say?
"Gaba-Daba-Do!"
You’re my sweetheart, and I’m so pumped about that.
Why didn’t the skeleton feel like patching up his broken ribcage?
His heart wasn’t in it.
Why is the left cerebral cortex always wrong?
Because it was never in the rgiht.
Bonnie Tyler has released a video all about cardiology.
It’s totally clips of the heart.
What did the axon terminal say to the receptor when they broke up?
I need my space.
Nurse: Here’s our list of donor hearts and livers in alphabetical order.
Doctor: wow. Looks very ORGANized.
How did the gambler know his hand would stink?
Because he was holding deuces.
The guy who invented the watch must have had a lot of time on his hands
My head hurt and I had a really runny nose during math class
I think i had a sin(x) infection.
My dad has the heart of a lion...
and a lifetime ban from the zoo.
Where do skeletons go hang out at night?
Anywhere, as long as it's a hip joint.
"Let's have some skele-fun."
What does a brain do when it sees a friend across the street?
Gives a brain wave.
Why did the pig have a heart attack?
Too much bacon.
What do you call it when the axe in your hand falls on your feet.
An AXEIDENT.
What did the skeleton bring to the potluck?
Spare ribs.
You’re so beautiful, I can heartly believe my eyes.
I like to reminisce about the surgeon who removed my spine.
Really takes me back.
When my girlfriend told me she needed time and distance, my heart almost stopped,
Fortunately, she was just calculating velocity.
You know what really makes my blood boil?
The vacuum of space.
Why do mummies like myelin?
Because of all the wrapping.
What part of the brain deals with knowledge about plants?
The treefrontal cortex.
What happens if you break the brain scanner?
“I told you Doc!! I’ve got fatigue and my heart keeps skipping a beat! Why do you keep calling me a liar??
Doctor: “Sir, I’ll say it again, that’s A Fib!”
My cardiologist friend keeps sending me x-rays of his chest.
A bit weird, I know, but it just shows his heart is in the right place.
I can't stand when people kick me in the back of the leg.
How does the Pope dry his hands?
He uses a Papal towel.
I boiled a funny bone once.
It turned into a laughing stock.
What human body part is long, hard, bendable, and contains the letters p,e,n,i,s?
Your spine.
When does it rain brains?
During a brain storm.
Why do we tell actors to “break a leg”?
Because every play needs a cast.
I have a heart-on for you.