what does goblin's blood consist of?
A hemogoblin
Did you know that a Squid’s esophagus goes through its brain?
Food for thought, isn’t it?
What do you call someone who loves dark beer?
Stouthearted.
You’re my heartthrob.
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs floating in a pool?
Bob.
Nurse: Here’s our list of donor hearts and livers in alphabetical order.
Doctor: wow. Looks very ORGANized.
A golfer had a heart attack and died on the way to the hospital. He was on a fairway to heaven.
What reassuring advice did the meninges give to the brain?
"Don't worry, I've got you covered."
What do you call a blood vessel that's mad with power?
A Megalovieniac.
My son asked me why our sailboat is named Blood
I yelled back: "Because it’s a bloody vessel!"
What does the visual system use to play basketball?
Eyeballs.
Why did the blood sucking insect learn Latin?
It wanted to be a Roman-tic
How do you mess up a brain, on paper?
With a few strokes.
I'm surprised you all aren't talking more about that drug with the side effect of making scalps wrinkled.
I mean, it's been making a LOT of head lines.
How do you decide whether to be a Brain Surgeon or a Novelist?
You flip a coin. It’ll land on heads or tales.
When I was young, my dad used to throw quarters at my head whenever I acted up.
He said, “Maybe this’ll knock some scents into you.”
I find that the quickest way to man's heart
is with a very very sharp knife.
What do you call a fraternity member who likes to drink the blood of goats?
A chupacabro.
"Do you play the trom-bone?"
A balding magician had an act where he'd put a rabbit on his head and make it disappear...
The hare vanished into thin hair.
What did the doctor tell the skeleton who wanted to donate his body to science?
Spine on the dotted line.
No body has ever won a skeleton race.
What did the heart say to the brain before an exam?
You look nervous.
Why couldn’t the skeleton get out of bed?
He was bone tired.
If your canoe turns upside down in the water, you can wear it on your head.
Because it’s capsized.
I was sailing my boat when a massive hand rose out of the water and then slowly disappeared...
I thought, 'That's the biggest wave I've ever seen!'
Grandpa died because we couldn’t figure out his blood type.
At least he told us to be positive.
Why does the spinal cord belong in the brass section of an orchestra?
Because of its dorsal and ventral horns.
My cardiologist friend keeps sending me x-rays of his chest.
A bit weird, I know, but it just shows his heart is in the right place.
What kind of fish performs brain surgery?
A neurosturgeon.
My son was injected with poisoned blood from a person from Finland
He said "I am finnished."
Why do action potentials make good volleyball players?
They are always spiking.
My hypochondriac brother just told me he thinks he's got a brain tumor.
I told him not to worry, it's probably all in his head.
Does anybody remember the joke I posted about my spine?
It was about a weak back.
I think I'm going to remove my spine.
It's only holding me back.
My friend has an insect parasite that can't stop fidgeting as it sucks blood.
He has a nervous tick.
What does a brain do when it sees a friend across the street?
Gives a brain wave.
I lost my memory after getting hit on the head by a boomerang.
It's all coming back to me now.
I threw a fuzzy peach at my doctor's head and he said "that's not assault that's a sugar."
Have you heard about the guy who made a bomb out of a brain?
It was pretty mindblowing.
You wanna know the way to my heart?
A scalpel and a bone saw.
Why do brain cells grown in a dish attend the ballet and opera?
Because they are very cultured.
What can't cows stand on their hind legs?
Because they lactose.
Why do neurons like e-mail?
The love messages.
Why are hands so reliable?
Because you can always count on them.
My dad just told me something that sent a chill down my spine.
He said, “I’m turning off the heating.”
Two meth heads start a relationship, is that considered speed dating
or just mething around?
Why are neuroanatomy classes the smartest?
They have lots of brains.
What happens when a neurotransmitter falls in love with a receptor?
You get a binding relationship.
What does a zombie say as he squishes your brains between his fingers?
Got your knows.