What did the osteopathic medicine doctor bring to the potluck?
Spare ribs.
She was wheeled to the operating room, but then she underwent a change of heart.
What type of photos do neurons post to Facebook?
Cellfies.
When does a brain get afraid?
When it loses its nerve.
Two detectives interrogate a 37 year old mute man. The detectives give the man a notepad which he scribbles on for a few seconds, and hands back to them.
"I'll never talk."
What did the skeleton bring to the potluck?
Spare ribs.
What is a good pick-up line an axon terminal can use on a dendrite?
"Let's connect."
My doctor forgot to document my blood type.
It was a typo.
What bug has 100 legs and lives by the outhouse?
Scenta-Peed.
Two meth heads start a relationship, is that considered speed dating
or just mething around?
Doctor said I’m at risk of having a heart attack due to high sodium intake.
I took what he said with a grain of salt.
"Dying to have fun."
My first girlfriend was a tennis player but she broke my heart.
It was like love meant nothing to her.
I had a birth defect where they had to relocate my heart
I guess you could say my heart wasn't in the right place.
When my girlfriend told me she needed time and distance, my heart almost stopped,
Fortunately, she was just calculating velocity.
How do you greet a skeleton in france?
"Bonejour."
I used to get heartburn when I ate birthday cake until a doctor advised me to take the candles off first.
How do skeleton’s get their mail delivered?
By the bony express.
A lady stormed off when I asked about her hand bag.
Maybe the question was to pursonal.
When I was young, my dad used to throw quarters at my head whenever I acted up.
He said, “Maybe this’ll knock some scents into you.”
What did one deoxygenated blood cell say to the other?
We're all in vain.
Where does a neuron keep its money?
In a brain bank.
How do you decide whether to be a Brain Surgeon or a Novelist?
You flip a coin. It’ll land on heads or tales.
What do you call a skeleton's favorite singer?
Pelvis Presley.
A golfer had a heart attack and died on the way to the hospital. He was on a fairway to heaven.
Why did the neuron like to sleep in the top bunk bed?
It wanted to have a high resting potential.
I bought a bunch of antique spears online, but they arrived without their spear heads.
I got shafted.
Why do skeletons get sick on windy days?
It goes right through them.
What do you call a martial artist who injured his leg?
Bruised Knee.
I need to stop being such a numbskull.
My dad told me to finish his bird painting. He painted the head, torso and legs.
To be honest, I just winged it.
Why do mummies like myelin?
Because of all the wrapping.
Did you hear about the cardiologist who went to great lengths to win the heart of a hematologist?
It was all in vein.
What’s it called your backpack messes up your spine?
Schooliosis !
I have a heart-on for you.
I think I'm going to remove my spine.
It's only holding me back.
What do you say when two red blood cells get married?
Coagulations!
What happened to the pirate who lost his peg leg?
He couldn't find it, so he was stumped.
Earlier today someone sent me a bunch of flowers, but all the heads had been cut off.
I think I'm being stalked.
How do you call a man who can cook an egg on his head?
pan o man.
What is the brain's favorite television channel?
The Neural Network.
What reassuring advice did the meninges give to the brain?
"Don't worry, I've got you covered."
Why didn’t the skeleton feel like patching up his broken ribcage?
His heart wasn’t in it.
Near the town of Hannah Montana people found a dinosaur skeleton.
Scientists identified it as a Mileysaurus.
What do you call an alligator showing off his spine flexibility on the internet?
E-Reptile Disc Function
I'm going to get the numbers 1 through 30 tattooed up my arm.
That way people can always count on me.
"Bugs and hisses."
A man with spine cancer walks up to his friend
His friend notices that the man is holding his back while walking up to him
His friend asks "What's wrong?".
The man says "My back is killing me".
Why did the action potential cross the optic chiasm?
To get to the other side.
What is a skeleton’s favorite plant?
A bone-zai tree.