You’re my sweetheart, and I’m so pumped about that.
What do you call a guy with no arms and legs lying on a pile of leaves?
Russle.
I can't stand when people kick me in the back of the leg.
What is a myelinated neuron's favorite type of music?
Wrap music.
A mime in our town was arrested yesterday after he got into a bar fight and broke his left arm.
He still has the right to remain silent.
Well, you have to hand it to relay runners, don't you?
What did the hippocampus say during its retirement speech?
"Thanks for the memories."
Dogs can't see your bones.
But catscan.
I didn't think the doctor would fix the curve in my spine
But now I stand corrected.
Two spines are running up the hill as a hedgehog passes by them
Then one spine turns and says to the other “we missed the bus!!”
Working the poker table at the casino with my new prosthetic hand is going to be a challenge,
But I’ll learn to deal with it.
What did parietal say to frontal?
"I lobe you."
I’m directing a play about a boy who broke his arm.
You should see the cast.
I went to the hospital for chest pains but the doctor kept inspecting my spine.
This place is back wards.
When does it rain brains?
During a brain storm.
Doctor Doctor I've broken my arm in four places.
Docter: Well stop going to those 4 places then!
My skeleton girlfriend dumped me the other day. She had the hottest spine I have ever seen.
I just want her back.
Why were the axons bothered by myelin?
It was getting on their nerves.
How many bones are in the human hand?
A handful of them.
My dad has the heart of a lion...
and a lifetime ban from the zoo.
I think I'm getting curvature of the spine...
I haven't seen a doctor yet, it's just a hunch.
What is a neuron's favorite television channel?
The Ion Channel
Did you hear about the cardiologist who went to great lengths to win the heart of a hematologist?
It was all in vein.
My friend built an aromatherapy vaporiser with a built-in brain scanner
Seems a bit out there, but makes scents when you think about it.
Have you heard about the guy who made a bomb out of a brain?
It was pretty mindblowing.
Why do action potentials make good volleyball players?
They are always spiking.
What did the doctor tell the skeleton who wanted to donate his body to science?
Spine on the dotted line.
My wife tried to unlatch our daughter's car seat with one hand and said, "How do one armed mothers do it?" Without missing a beat I replied, "Single handedly."
It doesn’t help that my doctor keeps making fun of my broken leg. He’s just adding insult to injury.
Why did the pig have a heart attack?
Too much bacon.
How does the Pope dry his hands?
He uses a Papal towel.
One day, I looked to my spine and said
Thanks for all the support! Thanks to you we've grown to new heights.
What type of photos do neurons post to Facebook?
Cellfies.
I'd give me right arm to be ambidextrous!
I bring my knees to my head and lean forwards.
That's just how I roll.
"Bone to be wild."
I just found out that my son got a tattoo of spades, diamonds, hearts, and clubs on his arm.
I might have to deal with him later.
What bone does a dog not eat?
A trombone.
What do you get when you throw a hand grenade into a French bathroom?
Linoleum Blownapart.
What is the brain's favorite television channel?
The Neural Network.
I heard a heart wrenching story recently.
A car mechanic became a cardiac surgeon.
Working as a dock hand is hard,
but it's wharf it.
A surgeon was about to perform heart surgery when he received notice that the replacement was delivered to his house!
Home is where the heart is.
What do you call an alligator showing off his spine flexibility on the internet?
E-Reptile Disc Function
Someone asked me to sing a line from "Don't go breaking my heart"
I couldn't if I tried.
No! You can't force me to shave my forearms!
I have a right to bear arms!
A man with spine cancer walks up to his friend
His friend notices that the man is holding his back while walking up to him
His friend asks "What's wrong?".
The man says "My back is killing me".
My hypochondriac brother just told me he thinks he's got a brain tumor.
I told him not to worry, it's probably all in his head.
What are the two most profane bones in the human body?
The blasfemurs.
Started reading a book called “The Pirate’s Wrist”
I’m hooked.