Why did the action potential cross the optic chiasm?
To get to the other side.
What does a zombie say as he squishes your brains between his fingers?
Got your knows.
Doctor said I’m at risk of having a heart attack due to high sodium intake.
I took what he said with a grain of salt.
I bring my knees to my head and lean forwards.
That's just how I roll.
What do you call two spine bones that are friends?
Vertebros.
No body has ever won a skeleton race.
What did the skeleton say to the French soldier? Bone Jaw
My son was injected with poisoned blood from a person from Finland
He said "I am finnished."
I'm glad I have my 2nd Amendment right to bear arms.
Otherwise, I'd have been amputated at birth.
Why did the skeleton start a fight?
He had a bone to pick.
What do you say when two red blood cells get married?
Coagulations!
I broke my spine in an accident last year. Had a life saving operation to fix my neck which permanently locked my head in place.
Since then I've never looked back.
A monk, a priest and a rabbit walk into a blood bank.
The rabbit says "I think I'm a type o"
Asked my son what his favourite thing about Popeye was.
He said, "Forearms."
I said, "No, he only has two."
A balding magician had an act where he'd put a rabbit on his head and make it disappear...
The hare vanished into thin hair.
That girl must be a premature contraction as she makes my heart skip a beat.
Did you know that a Squid’s esophagus goes through its brain?
Food for thought, isn’t it?
When we put our two hearts together, we can’t be beat.
What did the axon terminal say to the receptor when they broke up?
I need my space.
The Queen of the Nile was said to always show a bit of leg...
but Nefertiti.
What happens when you shatter your funny bone?
You crack up.
I'm going to get the numbers 1 through 30 tattooed up my arm.
That way people can always count on me.
I heard a heart wrenching story recently.
A car mechanic became a cardiac surgeon.
You know what really makes my blood boil?
The vacuum of space.
You’re my sweetheart, and I’m so pumped about that.
Why do youngsters like pelvic bones so much?
Because they're hip.
"Some people have no guts."
How does the spinal cord hammer a nail into a wall?
With a series of spinal taps.
I can't stand when people kick me in the back of the leg.
I’m directing a play about a boy who broke his arm.
You should see the cast.
I didn't want to have brain surgery but I had to.
I guess it changed my mind.
I went to the Red Cross to donate blood.
They threw me out and said "We don't want your type here!"
happens when you bother the parietal lobe?
It gets very touchy.
What do you call a skull without 86 billion neurons?
A no brainer.
Are you a locksmith? Because you hold the key to my heart.
What do you call a person missing 75%, of their spine?
A quarterback.
The Genie granted my wish for longer arms, but he warned me My wish would have far reaching consequences.
Where does a neuron keep its money?
In a brain bank.
Where do brains go for vacation in Massachusetts?
Braintree, MA
When it came to tilling his garden by hand, he put a lot of heart into it.
He was gung hoe.
How do you call a man who can cook an egg on his head?
pan o man.
My wife threw a block of cheddar at my head
I said "Well that's mature."
Where does a brain go on vacation?
To a hippo camp us.
A fly fell down out of nowhere on my wrist
It died on my watch.
Why are sponges and brains similar?
They both like to soak up "material"
Don't you just hate it when it's 212 degrees outside? It really just makes my blood boil.
What are the two most profane bones in the human body?
The blasfemurs.
What is a neuron's favorite television channel?
The Ion Channel
What is a skeletons favorite meal?
Anything with Ribs.
My head hurt and I had a really runny nose during math class
I think i had a sin(x) infection.