If a woman with big breasts works at Hooters, where does someone with one leg work?
IHOP.
My dad told me to finish his bird painting. He painted the head, torso and legs.
To be honest, I just winged it.
How did the frog feel when he hurt his leg?
Unhoppy
My first girlfriend was a tennis player but she broke my heart.
It was like love meant nothing to her.
Well, you have to hand it to relay runners, don't you?
What do you call it when a skeleton is having a great time?
An osteoblast.
What happened to the pirate who lost his peg leg?
He couldn't find it, so he was stumped.
Why did the blood sucking insect learn Latin?
It wanted to be a Roman-tic
How many bones are in the human hand?
A handful of them.
How do you know if a spine finds you funny?
It starts cracking up.
What did the osteopathic medicine doctor bring to the potluck?
Spare ribs.
I lost my memory after getting hit on the head by a boomerang.
It's all coming back to me now.
Saw my dad outside with a tv antenna on his head
When I asked him why, he said he was trying to get more in tune with nature.
Does anybody remember the joke I posted about my spine?
It was about a weak back.
Bonnie Tyler has released a video all about cardiology.
It’s totally clips of the heart.
What's the quickest way to a man's heart?
His chest.
Why aren’t skeletons good at poker?
You can see right through them.
What type of photos do neurons post to Facebook?
Cellfies.
What do you call a glass of pig’s blood?
Swine.
This year, my brain and my heart are Valentines to each other.
A chemical in science class can make your hands go numb
But math will make you number.
No! You can't force me to shave my forearms!
I have a right to bear arms!
I had to give an impromptu speech on a piece of cloth that encircles the wrist...
I spoke off the cuff on the cuff.
"Bugs and hisses."
I punched my monitor and now my hand really hertz.
I'm surprised you all aren't talking more about that drug with the side effect of making scalps wrinkled.
I mean, it's been making a LOT of head lines.
Did you hear about the bear with the bad heart?
It went into kodiak arrest.
Today, my arm got pinned between my wife's chest and the chair.
It was booby trapped.
What did the Hollywood film director say to the young neuron that wanted to be an actor?
"Hey kid, you've got potential."
"You can't skele-run from my skele-puns."
What did one skeleton wrestler say to the other?
You better watch out for my special move. It will verta-break your back!
What do you call the shirt a neurosurgeon wears to every brain surgery?
His specialty.
Why is a baby showing the top of its head during labor a significant event?
Because that’s the baby’s crowning achievement.
Which cranial nerve would be right at home in a well-known city in Nevada?
The vagus nerve.
You’ve stolen my heart. I hereby place you under cardiac arrest.
What is a skeleton's favorite musical instrument?
The xylobone.
I can heartly wait to see you again.
What is a red heads favorite drink?
Ginger Ale.
I went skiing with broken bones.
I can't afford real skis.
I find bone puns very
Humerus.
What do you call glia when it is happy?
Smyelin.
My head hurt and I had a really runny nose during math class
I think i had a sin(x) infection.
What street does the hippocampus live on?
Memory lane.
Why didn't the brain want to take a bath?
What did the axon terminal say to the receptor when they broke up?
I need my space.
My doctor forgot to document my blood type.
It was a typo.
What did the patient say after that gave blood?
I feel drained.
You should follow your heart, but keep in mind to take your brain too.
It's better to amputate at the shoulder,
Its twice as much work to cut off forearms.
Why do youngsters like pelvic bones so much?
Because they're hip.
What happens if you break the brain scanner?