What do you call it when a skeleton is having a great time?
An osteoblast.
Nurse: Here’s our list of donor hearts and livers in alphabetical order.
Doctor: wow. Looks very ORGANized.
What is a neuroscientist's favorite type of dog?
A labratory retriever.
I'm so Midwestern, it's in my blood
I'm type Ohp!-ositive
Two meth heads start a relationship, is that considered speed dating
or just mething around?
Today, my arm got pinned between my wife's chest and the chair.
It was booby trapped.
What do you call it when you try to woo someone with 50% of a Valentine?
A halfhearted attempt.
What do you call an Irish dancer having a heart attack?
Michael flatline.
Two blood cells can meet and fall in love with each other, but it is all in vein.
What do you call two spine bones that are friends?
Vertebros.
Why do brain cells grown in a dish attend the ballet and opera?
Because they are very cultured.
What do you call a dog that likes to dig up bones?
A barkeologist.
The head surgeon shouted at me for accidentally severing the patient's spine.
I think I struck a nerve.
My cranium is empty. I'm running bone-dry here.
I tried my hand at cinematography, but it didn't really pan out.
A chemical in science class can make your hands go numb
But math will make you number.
What do you call a crazy blood-sucking parasite?
A lunatick!
Why do neurons like e-mail?
The love messages.
What do you call a martial artist who injured his leg?
Bruised Knee.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
What is a skeleton’s favorite plant?
A bone-zai tree.
I like to reminisce about the surgeon who removed my spine.
Really takes me back.
You wanna know the way to my heart?
A scalpel and a bone saw.
My son asked me why our sailboat is named Blood
I yelled back: "Because it’s a bloody vessel!"
I didn't want to have brain surgery but I had to.
I guess it changed my mind.
Before I became a dad, I was terrified I wouldn't know how to be a good one. Oddly enough, it turns out, it's in my blood - I come from a long line of fathers.
An action potential takes the train to school. What is the name of the train station where it gets off for school?
Axon terminal.
I was doing brain surgery to a patient the other day
He was rather open-minded if you ask me.
What is a skeleton's favorite musical instrument?
The xylobone.
How do two skeletons have se*?
They bone each other.
You’re my sweetheart, and I’m so pumped about that.
What do you call a guy with no arms and legs lying on a pile of leaves?
Russle.
I can't stand when people kick me in the back of the leg.
What is a myelinated neuron's favorite type of music?
Wrap music.
A mime in our town was arrested yesterday after he got into a bar fight and broke his left arm.
He still has the right to remain silent.
Well, you have to hand it to relay runners, don't you?
What did the hippocampus say during its retirement speech?
"Thanks for the memories."
Dogs can't see your bones.
But catscan.
I didn't think the doctor would fix the curve in my spine
But now I stand corrected.
Two spines are running up the hill as a hedgehog passes by them
Then one spine turns and says to the other “we missed the bus!!”
Working the poker table at the casino with my new prosthetic hand is going to be a challenge,
But I’ll learn to deal with it.
What did parietal say to frontal?
"I lobe you."
I’m directing a play about a boy who broke his arm.
You should see the cast.
I went to the hospital for chest pains but the doctor kept inspecting my spine.
This place is back wards.
When does it rain brains?
During a brain storm.
Doctor Doctor I've broken my arm in four places.
Docter: Well stop going to those 4 places then!
My skeleton girlfriend dumped me the other day. She had the hottest spine I have ever seen.
I just want her back.
Why were the axons bothered by myelin?
It was getting on their nerves.
How many bones are in the human hand?
A handful of them.
My dad has the heart of a lion...
and a lifetime ban from the zoo.