Donating blood can be A-positive experience
But sometimes it can B-negative.
What’s it called your backpack messes up your spine?
Schooliosis !
Why was the neuron sent to the principal's office?
It had trouble controlling its impulses.
"Let's have some skele-fun."
How do you call a man who can cook an egg on his head?
pan o man.
What has four legs and one arm?
A rottweiler at a park.
What is a sleeping brain's favorite musical group (rock band)?
REM.
How do two skeletons have se*?
They bone each other.
What does the visual system use to play basketball?
Eyeballs.
What has a head but no body, a heart but no blood, leaves but no branches and grows without wood?
Lettuce
What is it called when a tree has spine problems?
ScoliOAKsis.
When we put our two hearts together, we can’t be beat.
Before I became a dad, I was terrified I wouldn't know how to be a good one. Oddly enough, it turns out, it's in my blood - I come from a long line of fathers.
You’ve stolen my heart. I hereby place you under cardiac arrest.
I went to the hospital for chest pains but the doctor kept inspecting my spine.
This place is back wards.
What part of the brain deals with knowledge about plants?
The treefrontal cortex.
A golfer had a heart attack and died on the way to the hospital. He was on a fairway to heaven.
What bone does a dog not eat?
A trombone.
My friend has an insect parasite that can't stop fidgeting as it sucks blood.
He has a nervous tick.
So a man walked up to me and placed some soil, plant seeds and fertilizer on my head.
It was annoying at first, but I think it grew on me.
Someone just asked me to sing any line from "Don't go breaking my heart."
I couldn't if I tried.
I'm surprised you all aren't talking more about that drug with the side effect of making scalps wrinkled.
I mean, it's been making a LOT of head lines.
What do you call a martial artist who injured his leg?
Bruised Knee.
Why are neuroanatomy classes the smartest?
They have lots of brains.
I threw a fuzzy peach at my doctor's head and he said "that's not assault that's a sugar."
Two spines are running up the hill as a hedgehog passes by them
Then one spine turns and says to the other “we missed the bus!!”
Girlfriend was working on the motorcycle with me the other day...
She exclaimed "God! This is ridiculous. I need, like, four arms to do this!".
To which I replied "but honey, you DO have forearms!"
Why couldn't the skeleton get a date to the dance?
He doesn't have the heart to ask anyone out.
Someone asked me to sing a line from "Don't go breaking my heart"
I couldn't if I tried.
What does a skeleton play in a band?
A Trom-Bone.
I love my wife with all my butt! I should have to say heart, but my heart is actually smaller than my butt.
I lost my wrist watch somewhere near my house.
Now it’s the neighborhood watch.
happens when you bother the parietal lobe?
It gets very touchy.
Why did the skeleton cross the road?
To get to the body shop.
What did the skeleton say to the French soldier? Bone Jaw
My family visited a rude psychic, with degenerative bone disease, who insisted all of us had bad breath.
She was a super callous fragile mystic expecting halitosis.
Where does a brain go on vacation?
To a hippo camp us.
How do you decide whether to be a Brain Surgeon or a Novelist?
You flip a coin. It’ll land on heads or tales.
What is a profession involving spine realignment in Egypt?
A Cairo-practor.
My mom always says that the stomach is the best way to a man’s heart. That’s why she is a bad surgeon.
Why are skeletons so calm?
Because nothing gets under their skin.
Did you hear about the cardiologist who went to great lengths to win the heart of a hematologist?
It was all in vein.
What did the hippocampus say during its retirement speech?
"Thanks for the memories."
Why are hands so reliable?
Because you can always count on them.
Why did the pig have a heart attack?
Too much bacon.
How many bones are in the human hand?
A handful of them.
"You can't skele-run from my skele-puns."
Scientist are shocked after discovery of a new african bee species that can keep on flying even after their heart stops.
Local tribes in fear of a zombee apocalypse
What do you call it when you try to woo someone with 50% of a Valentine?
A halfhearted attempt.
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs floating in a pool?
Bob.