I'm going to get the numbers 1 through 30 tattooed up my arm.
That way people can always count on me.
What is the best toothpaste for the brain?
Neural crest.
What bone does a dog not eat?
A trombone.
Some guy wanted to charge me a bunch of money for a second hand bouncy house.
But I wasn't sure if that was something I really wanted to jump into.
I took a blood test today
It was easy. I got A+, and I didn't even have to study!
My mom always says that the stomach is the best way to a man’s heart. That’s why she is a bad surgeon.
Doctor Doctor I've broken my arm in four places.
Docter: Well stop going to those 4 places then!
Restrooms in restaurants often have a sign saying "Employees must wash hands".
But after waiting hours, no one has ever helped me with mine!
What did the Hollywood film director say to the young neuron that wanted to be an actor?
"Hey kid, you've got potential."
What is a profession involving spine realignment in Egypt?
A Cairo-practor.
Just been to the funeral of a close friend who died when he was hit in the head by a tennis ball
Great service.
A chemical in science class can make your hands go numb
But math will make you number.
What do you call a toddler running towards their mother with arms high up in the air?
A quick pick-me-up.
What do you call it when you try to woo someone with 50% of a Valentine?
A halfhearted attempt.
You’re my heartthrob.
What do you call two guys with no arms and no legs and hang on the wall?
Curt 'n Rod.
Why did the neuron like to sleep in the top bunk bed?
It wanted to have a high resting potential.
Two meth heads start a relationship, is that considered speed dating
or just mething around?
I'd give me right arm to be ambidextrous!
I got a new bread recipe where you don’t have to get your hands messy by mixing the dough.
It is kneadless, to say.
I surprised my friend as she was trying to steal another spine from a corpse...
She was takin' a back when taken aback!
What’s it called your backpack messes up your spine?
Schooliosis !
What do you call a guy with no arms and legs lying on a pile of leaves?
Russle.
What do skeletons put in their photocopiers?
Skeletoner
How do you call a man who can cook an egg on his head?
pan o man.
I think my back hurts. I'm okay though.
It's spine.
Stay away from Gmail if you don't want to get shivers down your spine
There's clearly a draft in there.
What do you call two spine bones that are friends?
Vertebros.
What do neurons use to talk to each other?
Cellular phones.
What
A friend failed his medical exam when he X-rayed his lower torso.
He didn’t put his heart into it.
What do you call a group of arms?
An army.
If some of Fred Flintstone's neurotransmitters could talk, what would they say?
"Gaba-Daba-Do!"
Why did the blood sucking insect learn Latin?
It wanted to be a Roman-tic
Why were the two retinas such good friends?
They always saw eye-to-eye.
An action potential takes the train to school. What is the name of the train station where it gets off for school?
Axon terminal.
What's a skeletons favorite activity?
Boning.
I have a heart-on for you.
Saw my dad outside with a tv antenna on his head
When I asked him why, he said he was trying to get more in tune with nature.
What do Mexicans wear on their heads in the pool?
Swimbreros.
How many bones are in the human hand?
A handful of them.
Cutting my arms was the best descision I've ever made
Hands down.
What can't cows stand on their hind legs?
Because they lactose.
My cranium is empty. I'm running bone-dry here.
What do you call a skeleton who lies?
A phoney-ba-boney.
Why couldn’t the skeleton get out of bed?
He was bone tired.
That girl must be a premature contraction as she makes my heart skip a beat.
Why are sponges and brains similar?
They both like to soak up "material"
Grandpa died because we couldn’t figure out his blood type.
At least he told us to be positive.
You wanna know the way to my heart?
A scalpel and a bone saw.
The nurse made my heart skip a beat
It was fine after she plugged the life support back in.