What did the brain say after it got an electrical shock?
"This was a stimulating experience."
I didn't want to have brain surgery but I had to.
I guess it changed my mind.
There's a microchip you can transplant into your brain to boost your memory
You should keep that in mind.
What do you call a funny bone?
A humerus.
What do you call a skeleton's favorite singer?
Pelvis Presley.
Have you heard about the guy who made a bomb out of a brain?
It was pretty mindblowing.
Why did the thief cut the legs off his bed?
Because he needed to lie low.
A surgeon was about to perform heart surgery when he received notice that the replacement was delivered to his house!
Home is where the heart is.
The real reason humans have wrinkly brains?
We've been in the gene pool too long.
My mom always says that the stomach is the best way to a man’s heart. That’s why she is a bad surgeon.
How do you know if a spine finds you funny?
It starts cracking up.
Where does a brain go on vacation?
To a hippo camp us.
What is a red heads favorite drink?
Ginger Ale.
You’re my heartthrob.
"Some people have no guts."
Why didn’t one skeleton want to look at the other skeleton?
He didn’t have the stomach for it.
"Let's have some skele-fun."
What do you call a martial artist who injured his leg?
Bruised Knee.
What do you call a hat for the brain?
A thinking cap.
"Laughing 'til I'm coffin."
Are you a locksmith? Because you hold the key to my heart.
What type of photos do neurons post to Facebook?
Cellfies.
I think my back hurts. I'm okay though.
It's spine.
What do you call a carnival worker who’s eating a turkey leg?
A carnie-vor.
I punched my monitor and now my hand really hertz.
I think I'm getting curvature of the spine...
I haven't seen a doctor yet, it's just a hunch.
What do we call two birds that are in love?
Tweet-hearts!
What do you call a group of brains who form a singing group at school?
A glia club.
You’re my sweetheart, and I’m so pumped about that.
A monk, a priest and a rabbit walk into a blood bank.
The rabbit says "I think I'm a type o"
Keeping tropical fish in your home has a calming effect on the brain
because of the indoor fins.
If your dog was a neurologist, what would it do all day?
Perform PET scans.
You know, the heart’s the hungriest organ.
It has the heartiest appetite.
I'm surprised you all aren't talking more about that drug with the side effect of making scalps wrinkled.
I mean, it's been making a LOT of head lines.
When it came to tilling his garden by hand, he put a lot of heart into it.
He was gung hoe.
A friend of mine lost the right side of of his brain in a car accident, but he wouldn’t stop drinking and driving.
No one in their right mind would do that.
What happens when you anger a brain surgeon?
They will give you a piece of your mind.
If a woman with big breasts works at Hooters, where does someone with one leg work?
IHOP.
I broke both my legs yesterday and now I have to use a wheelchair
I really can’t stand my situation right now.
Working as a dock hand is hard,
but it's wharf it.
Scientist are shocked after discovery of a new african bee species that can keep on flying even after their heart stops.
Local tribes in fear of a zombee apocalypse
What is a neuron's favorite television channel?
The Ion Channel
I just found out that my son got a tattoo of spades, diamonds, hearts, and clubs on his arm.
I might have to deal with him later.
6:30 is hands down the best time on a clock
“I told you Doc!! I’ve got fatigue and my heart keeps skipping a beat! Why do you keep calling me a liar??
Doctor: “Sir, I’ll say it again, that’s A Fib!”
Why do skeletons never move?
Because they have too much Skelatonin.
The Mad Hatter and the Queen of Hearts had a rental agreement
A lease in Wonderland.
Why couldn’t the skeleton get out of bed?
He was bone tired.
What do you say when two red blood cells get married?
Coagulations!
Why are bones so calm?
Nothing gets under their skin.