"Bone to be wild."
Why did the little girl color her paper heart pink rather than red?
She was feeling lighthearted.
How does the spinal cord hammer a nail into a wall?
With a series of spinal taps.
Someone asked me to sing a line from "Don't go breaking my heart"
I couldn't if I tried.
What’s the coolest part of a skeleton?
The hip.
What can't cows stand on their hind legs?
Because they lactose.
Why does the spinal cord belong in the brass section of an orchestra?
Because of its dorsal and ventral horns.
Someone just asked me to sing any line from "Don't go breaking my heart."
I couldn't if I tried.
Recently, my friend had his ankle bone crack.
I told him he shouldn't be so broken up over it.
I was walking down an alley in Scotland when I found a severed man's hand...
I wonder if he was kilt.
I had a birth defect where they had to relocate my heart
I guess you could say my heart wasn't in the right place.
My favourite jokes are skeleton puns
Why? I find them humorous.
What bone does a dog not eat?
A trombone.
One day, I looked to my spine and said
Thanks for all the support! Thanks to you we've grown to new heights.
What do you say when two red blood cells get married?
Coagulations!
I caught the chef sticking his hand in the cooking pot. He looked at me and said...
"I was just feeling a little chili."
That girl must be a premature contraction as she makes my heart skip a beat.
I'd give me right arm to be ambidextrous!
What do you say when you go to a dinner with a bunch of osteopathologists?
Bone appetit!
I went skiing with broken bones.
I can't afford real skis.
"Lazy bones."
What has four legs and an arm?
A happy pitbull.
What are the magic words for a brainy magician?
Hocus sulcus.
I tried making a machine that shoots bullets out of your fingers, but it shot out my spine instead.
Well, that back fired.
I didn't think the doctor would fix the curve in my spine
But now I stand corrected.
I find that the quickest way to man's heart
is with a very very sharp knife.
What does a zombie say as he squishes your brains between his fingers?
Got your knows.
A man with spine cancer walks up to his friend
His friend notices that the man is holding his back while walking up to him
His friend asks "What's wrong?".
The man says "My back is killing me".
What did the right hemisphere say to the left hemisphere when they could not agree on anything?
Let's split.
Why did the brain go into a group of trees to sleep?
For rest. (forest)
What do you call a person missing 75%, of their spine?
A quarterback.
What is a brain's favorite kind of boat?
A cranial blood vessel.
Midwife (handing me the baby): "Make sure you’re supporting his head."
Me: "That’s a great head you have there, Well done!"
If some of Fred Flintstone's neurotransmitters could talk, what would they say?
"Gaba-Daba-Do!"
When does it rain brains?
During a brain storm.
What do you call a toddler running towards their mother with arms high up in the air?
A quick pick-me-up.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
How did the cardiologist figure out what she wanted to do with her life?
She just followed her heart.
What do you call a fake bone?
A faux-knee.
I had a dream I was looking for my brain
But it was all in my head.
Every time I see my vegetable girlfriend, my heart just beet faster.
Did you know that a Squid’s esophagus goes through its brain?
Food for thought, isn’t it?
What do you call a skeleton who lies?
A phoney-ba-boney.
I broke my spine in an accident last year. Had a life saving operation to fix my neck which permanently locked my head in place.
Since then I've never looked back.
The brain is an amazing organ
it really makes you think.
Why are neuroanatomy classes the smartest?
They have lots of brains.
"Some people have no guts."
Have you heard of the story about the campanologist without arms?
Doesn't ring a bell.
Just been to the funeral of a close friend who died when he was hit in the head by a tennis ball
Great service.
I have a heart-on for you.