Why are blood physicians so rich?
Because blood cells.
What do you call two guys with no arms and no legs and hang on the wall?
Curt 'n Rod.
What did the stimulus do to the neuron after they got married?
Carried it over the threshold.
I lub dub you with all my heart.
Scientist are shocked after discovery of a new african bee species that can keep on flying even after their heart stops.
Local tribes in fear of a zombee apocalypse
Asked my son what his favourite thing about Popeye was.
He said, "Forearms."
I said, "No, he only has two."
I aorta tell my wife how much I love her.
What do you call a guy that hands out free kebabs to the hungry?
A Döner.
Started reading a book called “The Pirate’s Wrist”
I’m hooked.
If your dog was a neurologist, what would it do all day?
Perform PET scans.
What do you call a blood vessel that's mad with power?
A Megalovieniac.
What blood type does a pessimist have?
B Negative
What do you call a man with no legs and no arms resting on a porch?
Matt.
I bring my knees to my head and lean forwards.
That's just how I roll.
When my girlfriend told me she needed time and distance, my heart almost stopped,
Fortunately, she was just calculating velocity.
While browsing the bookshop, I stuck a sheet of A4 paper to my wife's spine.
She said she wanted a paperback for her birthday.
A friend of mine lost the right side of of his brain in a car accident, but he wouldn’t stop drinking and driving.
No one in their right mind would do that.
Some guy wanted to charge me a bunch of money for a second hand bouncy house.
But I wasn't sure if that was something I really wanted to jump into.
You must be a defibrillator because you are sending shocks directly to my heart.
What do you call a sheep with no legs?
A cloud.
What do you call an alligator showing off his spine flexibility on the internet?
E-Reptile Disc Function
Why do youngsters like pelvic bones so much?
Because they're hip.
What did the vampire say to the vampire hunter that missed his heart.
Well wasnt that an unfortunate missed-stake.
What has four legs and one arm?
A rottweiler at a park.
What do you call a Chinese man with one leg? Tie won shu
Why can’t a legless skeleton win an argument?
They don’t have a leg to stand on.
You know what really makes my blood boil?
The vacuum of space.
Why did the brain go into a group of trees to sleep?
For rest. (forest)
What do you call a group of brains who form a singing group at school?
A glia club.
What do neurons use to talk to each other?
Cellular phones.
What
What does a brain do when it sees a friend across the street?
Gives a brain wave.
"Laughing 'til I'm coffin."
How did the frog feel when he hurt his leg?
Unhoppy
I know a guy who had both arms amputated from elbow to shoulder.
He is always serious and never humerus.
Have you heard of the story about the campanologist without arms?
Doesn't ring a bell.
What has four legs and an arm?
A happy pitbull.
"I would make a skeleton joke, but you wouldn't find it very
humerus."
Does anybody remember the joke I posted about my spine?
It was about a weak back.
What did one skeleton wrestler say to the other?
You better watch out for my special move. It will verta-break your back!
I can't stand when people kick me in the back of the leg.
My dad told me to finish his bird painting. He painted the head, torso and legs.
To be honest, I just winged it.
The real reason humans have wrinkly brains?
We've been in the gene pool too long.
I threw a fuzzy peach at my doctor's head and he said "that's not assault that's a sugar."
"Lazy bones."
My favourite jokes are skeleton puns
Why? I find them humorous.
How many bones are in the human hand?
A handful of them.
You know, the heart’s the hungriest organ.
It has the heartiest appetite.
Baking and Fire Safety can go hand-in-hand.
Stop, drop and roll
Before I became a dad, I was terrified I wouldn't know how to be a good one. Oddly enough, it turns out, it's in my blood - I come from a long line of fathers.
What bug has 100 legs and lives by the outhouse?
Scenta-Peed.