My favourite jokes are skeleton puns
Why? I find them humorous.
Did you hear about the man who had nothing else to do so drilled into his own head?
He was bored to death.
What did parietal say to frontal?
"I lobe you."
The real reason humans have wrinkly brains?
We've been in the gene pool too long.
Why is the left cerebral cortex always wrong?
Because it was never in the rgiht.
I used to be engaged to a girl with a wooden leg.
But I broke it off.
What vegetable lives in your heart?
Beets.
What did one skeleton wrestler say to the other?
You better watch out for my special move. It will verta-break your back!
Doctor Doctor I've broken my arm in four places.
Docter: Well stop going to those 4 places then!
What is a brain's favorite kind of boat?
A cranial blood vessel.
What bone does a dog not eat?
A trombone.
What kind of fish performs brain surgery?
A neurosturgeon.
A chemical in science class can make your hands go numb
But math will make you number.
I threw a fuzzy peach at my doctor's head and he said "that's not assault that's a sugar."
What is a neuron's favorite television channel?
The Ion Channel
Why do skeletons get sick on windy days?
It goes right through them.
How did the woman react when the doctor suggested she have a brain biopsy?
She gave him a piece of her mind.
What do you call two spine bones that are friends?
Vertebros.
What is a good pick-up line an axon terminal can use on a dendrite?
"Let's connect."
When I was young, my dad used to throw quarters at my head whenever I acted up.
He said, “Maybe this’ll knock some scents into you.”
What did the skeleton say to the French soldier? Bone Jaw
I just found out that my son got a tattoo of spades, diamonds, hearts, and clubs on his arm.
I might have to deal with him later.
One day, I looked to my spine and said
Thanks for all the support! Thanks to you we've grown to new heights.
If a woman with big breasts works at Hooters, where does someone with one leg work?
IHOP.
What do you call two guys with no arms and no legs and hang on the wall?
Curt 'n Rod.
Well, you have to hand it to relay runners, don't you?
Saw my dad outside with a tv antenna on his head
When I asked him why, he said he was trying to get more in tune with nature.
What has four legs and one arm?
A rottweiler at a park.
A knew a guy with such a bad gambling addiction, that he gambled his arms, legs, and torso away.
I told him to quit while he was a head.
How heavy are your bones?
They are scale-a-ton.
What do you call a fraternity member who likes to drink the blood of goats?
A chupacabro.
I gave my heart to a girl from Great Britain.
She turns around and Brexit into a million pieces.
I went to the Red Cross to donate blood.
They threw me out and said "We don't want your type here!"
What’s the best tool to have when your heart sinks?
A Jack of Hearts.
I went to the hospital for chest pains but the doctor kept inspecting my spine.
This place is back wards.
My daughter was just complaining about washing dishes by hand
I told her, “well... it’s better than washing them by foot.”
Baking and Fire Safety can go hand-in-hand.
Stop, drop and roll
If your dog was a neurologist, what would it do all day?
Perform PET scans.
I was sailing my boat when a massive hand rose out of the water and then slowly disappeared...
I thought, 'That's the biggest wave I've ever seen!'
My dad told me to finish his bird painting. He painted the head, torso and legs.
To be honest, I just winged it.
My dad told me to finish his bird painting. He painted the head, torso and legs.
To be honest, I just winged it.
A pile of books fall onto Sean Connery's head
He exclaims: "I only have my shelf to blame!"
Did you know that a Squid’s esophagus goes through its brain?
Food for thought, isn’t it?
What Do You Say To A One Legged Hitch Hiker
Hop In.
Exasperated, I threw my hands up in the air and shouted at my wife, "I'm not a complete idiot!" She smiled at me and purred, "I know honey."
"Some parts are missing."
I wish that I could be the coronary artery of my wife so that I would be wrapped around her heart.
"Bugs and hisses."
How do you mess up a brain, on paper?
With a few strokes.
My son asked me why our sailboat is named Blood
I yelled back: "Because it’s a bloody vessel!"
"You can't skele-run from my skele-puns."