Well, you have to hand it to relay runners, don't you?
What is a neuron's favorite television channel?
The Ion Channel
What’s the coolest part of a skeleton?
The hip.
What kind of car did the heart surgeon drive to work?
A beater.
A pile of books fall onto Sean Connery's head
He exclaims: "I only have my shelf to blame!"
"Laughing 'til I'm coffin."
My daughter was just complaining about washing dishes by hand
I told her, “well... it’s better than washing them by foot.”
What did the skeleton say to the French soldier? Bone Jaw
I'm glad I have my 2nd Amendment right to bear arms.
Otherwise, I'd have been amputated at birth.
Nurse: Here’s our list of donor hearts and livers in alphabetical order.
Doctor: wow. Looks very ORGANized.
I think my back hurts. I'm okay though.
It's spine.
Why did the skeleton go to the daycare?
To get his Kidneys.
The Mad Hatter and the Queen of Hearts had a rental agreement
A lease in Wonderland.
Why do skeletons never move?
Because they have too much Skelatonin.
"I have a joke about hearts, but I don't think you will get it."
"Why?"
"Because it is an inside joke."
Are you a locksmith? Because you hold the key to my heart.
What street does the hippocampus live on?
Memory lane.
Why didn't the brain want to take a bath?
What did the osteopathic medicine doctor bring to the potluck?
Spare ribs.
Why are skeletons so calm?
Because nothing gets under their skin.
If your dog was a neurologist, what would it do all day?
Perform PET scans.
What do you call a sheep with no legs?
A cloud.
What do you call a blood vessel that's mad with power?
A Megalovieniac.
What Do You Say To A One Legged Hitch Hiker
Hop In.
Why were the axons bothered by myelin?
It was getting on their nerves.
I had a dream I was looking for my brain
But it was all in my head.
My head hurt and I had a really runny nose during math class
I think i had a sin(x) infection.
What is a myelinated neuron's favorite type of music?
Wrap music.
Why was the skeleton stupid?
He was a numskull.
I find that the quickest way to man's heart
is with a very very sharp knife.
You wanna know the way to my heart?
A scalpel and a bone saw.
Two meth heads start a relationship, is that considered speed dating
or just mething around?
I tried making a machine that shoots bullets out of your fingers, but it shot out my spine instead.
Well, that back fired.
Why did the skeleton go to church?
Because it didn’t have any organs.
My favourite jokes are skeleton puns
Why? I find them humorous.
Working as a dock hand is hard,
but it's wharf it.
The head surgeon shouted at me for accidentally severing the patient's spine.
I think I struck a nerve.
I think I'm going to remove my spine.
It's only holding me back.
What do you call a deer that feeds on the blood of others?
Vlad the impala.
You should follow your heart, but keep in mind to take your brain too.
I was terrified by the results of my blood test
But my doctor just said B positive
What is a skeleton’s favorite plant?
A bone-zai tree.
Have you heard of the story about the campanologist without arms?
Doesn't ring a bell.
My friend always sleeps with his head on a bag of rice
He said it was a type of pilau.
A lady stormed off when I asked about her hand bag.
Maybe the question was to pursonal.
Why do we tell actors to “break a leg”?
Because every play needs a cast.
I didn't want to have brain surgery but I had to.
I guess it changed my mind.
What did the doctor give the lollipop when he broke his leg
A candy cane.
What do you call a hat for the brain?
A thinking cap.
That girl must be a premature contraction as she makes my heart skip a beat.
I broke both my legs yesterday and now I have to use a wheelchair
I really can’t stand my situation right now.