What part of the brain deals with knowledge about plants?
The treefrontal cortex.
What happens when you shatter your funny bone?
You crack up.
Why are fish so smart?
They spend a lot of time in schools.
I find bone puns very
Humerus.
Why did the skeleton go to church?
Because it didn’t have any organs.
Why did the brain go into a group of trees to sleep?
For rest. (forest)
Sigmund Freud used to always wear a piece of jewelry on his wrist...
It was an id bracelet.
How did the frog feel when he hurt his leg?
Unhoppy
I heard a heart wrenching story recently.
A car mechanic became a cardiac surgeon.
My mom always says that the stomach is the best way to a man’s heart. That’s why she is a bad surgeon.
Recently, my friend had his ankle bone crack.
I told him he shouldn't be so broken up over it.
You’re so beautiful, I can heartly believe my eyes.
My mother's sister was a gamble who enjoyed poker. She would heartily add to the initial pot but fold after the first hand...
We called her Auntie Up.
A chemical in science class can make your hands go numb
But math will make you number.
"Dying to have fun."
That girl must be a premature contraction as she makes my heart skip a beat.
"You can't skele-run from my skele-puns."
Why didn’t one skeleton want to look at the other skeleton?
He didn’t have the stomach for it.
I lost my memory after getting hit on the head by a boomerang.
It's all coming back to me now.
What did one deoxygenated blood cell say to the other?
We're all in vain.
I highly encourage you to have more brain farts
It develops mental fartitude.
A golfer had a heart attack and died on the way to the hospital. He was on a fairway to heaven.
Why couldn't the skeleton get a date to the dance?
He doesn't have the heart to ask anyone out.
I just found out that my son got a tattoo of spades, diamonds, hearts, and clubs on his arm.
I might have to deal with him later.
What do you call a carnival worker who’s eating a turkey leg?
A carnie-vor.
I was walking down an alley in Scotland when I found a severed man's hand...
I wonder if he was kilt.
I aorta tell my wife how much I love her.
Working as a dock hand is hard,
but it's wharf it.
The Queen of the Nile was said to always show a bit of leg...
but Nefertiti.
I think my back hurts. I'm okay though.
It's spine.
What do you call it when a cardiology student flunks out?
Heart failure.
How do skeleton’s get their mail delivered?
By the bony express.
Why are blood physicians so rich?
Because blood cells.
No body has ever won a skeleton race.
Why does a skeleton always tell the truth?
He wants tibia honest.
Why do action potentials make good volleyball players?
They are always spiking.
The head surgeon shouted at me for accidentally severing the patient's spine.
I think I struck a nerve.
A lady stormed off when I asked about her hand bag.
Maybe the question was to pursonal.
Before I became a dad, I was terrified I wouldn't know how to be a good one. Oddly enough, it turns out, it's in my blood - I come from a long line of fathers.
What do you call a cow with two legs?
Lean beef.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
What can't cows stand on their hind legs?
Because they lactose.
Where do you learn about bones?
Osteoclasst.
What is a neuroscientist's favorite type of dog?
A labratory retriever.
How do you mess up a brain, on paper?
With a few strokes.
I was sailing my boat when a massive hand rose out of the water and then slowly disappeared...
I thought, 'That's the biggest wave I've ever seen!'
I got a new bread recipe where you don’t have to get your hands messy by mixing the dough.
It is kneadless, to say.
What happened to the pirate who lost his peg leg?
He couldn't find it, so he was stumped.
What do you call a funny bone?
A humerus.
My local pizza place is selling heart shaped pizzas for Valentine’s Day
I find it to be a bit cheesy.