It’s so hot that Tabasco sauce tastes mild.
It’s so hot that my sprinkler released steam.
It’s so hot your clothes iron themselves.
It's so hot out that my sweat is sweating.
It’s so hot that the only waves at the beach were heatwaves.
It’s so hot you can wash and dry your clothes at the same time.
It’s so hot I discovered my seat belt makes a pretty good branding iron.
It's so hot out that I cleaned my fridge just so I could hang out in my fridge for a while.
It’s so hot that I have taken to leaving the toilet seat up just to get those chilling, icy stares from my wife.
It’s so hot that the oven got jealous.
It's so hot I saw an Amish guy buy an air conditioner.
It’s so hot that I’m using Celsius instead of Fahrenheit just to have a lower number.
It’s so hot you discover that it only takes 2 fingers to drive your car.
It’s so hot I saw the Devil in Wal-Mart buying an air conditioner.
It’s so hot I saw two hydrants fight over a dog.
It’s so hot that the clams were already steamed when I dug them up.
It’s so hot Optimus Prime transformed into an air conditioner.
It’s so hot, when the temperature drops below 95 I start to feel chilly.
It’s so hot I saw a heatwave and I waved back.
It’s so hot you can pull a leaf off a tree and iron with it.
It's so hot that all the water buffalo at the zoo evaporated.
It’s so hot that farmers are feeding ice to the chickens so they won’t lay boiled eggs.
It’s so hot all chocolate is hot chocolate.
It’s so hot all the sand on the beach is now glass.
It was so hot that I poured boiling water on myself to cool down.
It’s so hot that you can’t make a chili dog.
It’s so hot McDonald’s is frying burgers on parked cars.
It’s so hot I’m sweating like a politician on election day.
It’s so hot I set the house on fire just to cool off.
It’s so hot firecrackers light themselves.
It’s so hot you need a spatula to remove your clothing.
It’s so hot that you can poach eggs in a pool.
It’s so hot that I renamed my pig “Bacon.”
It’s so hot the trees are whistling for the dogs.
It’s so hot granny broke wind just to have a little breeze.
It’s so hot even my wife’s heart is melting.
It's so hot, I saw a guy with a sign that said, "Will work for shade."
It's so hot that I went to hell just to cool off.
It’s so hot the catfish are already fried when you catch them.
It's so hot outside the ice cream man just change the sign on the side of his truck to "cream."
It's so hot that you can fry an egg on the sidewalk!
It’s so hot I got condensation on my backside from the water in the toilet bowl.
It’s so hot the frozen pizza I bought at the grocery store was ready to eat by the time I got home.
It’s so hot my dream house is an igloo.