It's so cold that the band changed their name to Red Cold Chili Peppers.
It’s so cold we have to carry around hammers and chisels so we could get out of our clothes!
It’s so cold I saw Superman taking a taxi.
It’s so cold we were afraid to spit because it can ricochet.
It’s so cold I walk to school with a toaster in my pants.
It’s so cold that I have to wave a blow-torch in front of my nose just to have a sneeze.
It’s so cold that Jack Frost changed his name to Jack Froze.
It’s so cold fish were jumping out of the ice holes and straight into the frying pan.
It’s so cold washroom attendants have started putting salt boxes next to the toilets.
It’s so cold our hats have turned into ice caps.
It’s so cold that even the ATM shows minus.
It’s so cold that I’m breathing out snowflakes!
It’s so cold the local graveyard put heaters out for the ghosts.
It's so cold that I’m drinking hot sauce instead of coffee.
It’s so cold it’s colder than any room packed with ex-wives.
It's so cold that the optician was giving away free ice scrapers with every new pair of eyeglasses.
It’s so cold mailmen watch out for both dogs and polar bears.
It’s so cold we had to punch a hole in the air just to get outside.
It's so cold that you have to break the smoke off your chimney.
It’s so cold our table cutlery now includes a saw.
It’s so cold walruses were visiting the hardware store in search of more insulation.
It’s so cold I saw an Amish guy buying an electric blanket.
It’s so cold the police told a robber to freeze, and he really did.
It’s so cold that even the snowmen are wearing sweaters!
It’s so cold that when I dialed the emergency number, there was a recording that said to call back in spring.
It’s so cold I tried to take out the garbage, but it refused to go.
It’s so cold kids are using a new excuse to stay up late: “But Mom, my pajamas haven’t thawed out yet!”
It’s so cold that Grandpa’s teeth are chattering – in the glass!
It's so cold that the rock rattling around in your shoe is your toe.
It’s so cold the school nurse has to use a steamer to remove the instruments from the lips of the brass band members after the concert.
It's so cold that you might have to chop up the piano for firewood (although you’ll only get two chords).
It’s so cold sheep were demanding their wool back.
It's so cold that you have to open the fridge to heat the house.
It’s so cold mum used a saw to serve us milk.
It’s so cold we have to put skates on just to move around the house.
It's so cold that people started chipping their teeth on soup!
It’s so cold the cosmetics counter at the local department store started selling cream for goosebumps.
It was so cold the mice were playing ice hockey in the toilet bowl.
It was so cold firemen couldn’t get the people out of the burning building because it was warm.
It’s so cold that even the polar bears started drinking hot chocolate.
It was so cold that we pulled everything out of the freezer and huddled inside to keep warm.
It’s so cold my hat wrapped itself in a scarf.
It’s so cold dogs are wearing cats.
It’s so cold I actually enjoyed someone spilling hot coffee in my lap.
It’s so cold we had to stop eating with metal cutlery. Some people walked around for days with spoons or forks stuck to their tongues!
It’s so cold the ice cubes in my drink have goosebumps.
It’s so cold that when I needed an anesthetic, the dentist told me to stick my head out the hospital window.
It’s so cold a glacier was seen heading slowly down the main street of our town.
It's so cold that trees are chopping themselves into firewood.
It’s so cold chickens are rushing into Kentucky Fried Chicken and begging to use the pressure cooker!