It’s so cold the cosmetics counter at the local department store started selling cream for goosebumps.
It’s so cold mum used a saw to serve us milk.
It’s so cold dogs are wearing cats.
It was so cold firemen couldn’t get the people out of the burning building because it was warm.
It’s so cold that when we baked the frozen pizza in the oven for 25 minutes, it was still frozen.
It was so cold when I blinked my eyes froze shut.
It’s so cold the school nurse has to use a steamer to remove the instruments from the lips of the brass band members after the concert.
It's so cold that our words froze in midair — we had to put them in a frying pan to thaw them so we could hear what we were talking about.
It's so cold that lawyers have their hands in their own pockets.
It’s so cold I walk to school with a toaster in my pants.
It’s so cold I actually enjoyed someone spilling hot coffee in my lap.
It’s so cold we didn’t clean the house, we just defrosted it.
It's so cold that people look forward to getting a fever.
It’s so cold pickpockets are sticking their hands in strangers’ pockets just to keep them warm.
It's so cold that you have to open the fridge to heat the house.
It’s so cold my money turned into cold, hard cash.
It’s so cold I saw a gangsta with his pants pulled up.
It’s so cold we have to put skates on just to move around the house.
It’s so cold our table cutlery now includes a saw.
It's so cold that you have to break the smoke off your chimney.
It’s so cold my mail shattered when I tried to open it.
It’s so cold the flames of our fire froze.
It’s so cold that when I needed an anesthetic, the dentist told me to stick my head out the hospital window.
It's so cold hitchhikers were holding up pictures of thumbs!
It’s so cold that even the snowmen are wearing sweaters!
It’s so cold the aquarium didn’t need to use glass. On the downside, the fish were motionless.
It’s so cold sheep were demanding their wool back.
It’s so cold chickens are rushing into Kentucky Fried Chicken and begging to use the pressure cooker!
It’s so cold that bed bugs promised not to bite you as long as they can snuggle in your pajamas.