Chuck Norris can drown a fish.
Chuck Norris caught Covid-19 yesterday
The virus is quarantined for two weeks
Chuck Norris can clap with one hand.
Chuck Norris spices up his steaks with pepper spray.
There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.
Chuck Norris breathes air … five times a day.
Chuck Norris tells Simon what to do.
If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever.
Have you heard that Chuck Norris has started building non-sqaure homes?
He's on a round house kick.
Chuck Norris can cut a knife with butter.
Superman owns a pair of Chuck Norris undies.
Chuck Norris invented airplanes because he was tired of being the only person that could fly.
When a zombie apocalypse starts, Chuck Norris doesn't try to survive. The zombies do.
When Chuck Norris was born, the only person who cried was the doctor. Never slap Chuck Norris.
If it looks like chicken, tastes like chicken, and feels like chicken but Chuck Norris says its beef, then it's beef.
Chuck Norris can ski up a mountain.
When Chuck Norris goes scuba diving
He gives the water the bends.
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
When Alexander Graham Bell invented the telephone he had three missed calls from Chuck Norris.
When Chuck Norris enters the room, even the chairs are standing up.
Death once had a near-Chuck-Norris experience.
Chuck Norris's Blood Type is AK-47.
If Chuck Norris were to travel to an alternate dimension in which there was another Chuck Norris and they both fought, they would both win.
Chuck Norris' keyboard doesn't have a Ctrl key, because nothing controls Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris’ calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd, because no one fools Chuck Norris.
Waldo once insulted chuck norris.
And we all know how THAT'S going.
Chuck Norris plays russian roulette with a fully loded revolver... and wins.
Brett Favre can throw a football over 50 yards. Chuck Norris can throw Brett Favre even further.
When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he’s pushing the Earth down.
Chuck Norris is what Willis was talkin about.
Chuck Norris makes onions cry.
Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
Chuck Norris doesn't cheat death. He wins fair and square.
Chuck Norris doesn't have a roof in his house
Cold and wind don't dare come in.
How does Chuck Norris sharpen his blades?
By shaving with them.
Chuck Norris once ordered a steak in a restaurant. The steak did what it was told.
Chuck Norris just put up a new sign outside his house...
It says 'Welcome, Spanish Inquisition!'
Freddy Krueger has nightmares about Chuck Norris.
In Pamplona, Spain, the people may be running from the bulls, but the bulls are running from Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris has a diary. It's called the Guinness Book of World Records.
Chuck Norris knows Victoria's secret.
Chuck Norris has died aged 79.
But Death is too scared to let him know.
The only time Chuck Norris was ever wrong was when he thought he had made a mistake.
Ghosts are actually caused by Chuck Norris killing people faster than Death can process them.
Chuck refers to himself in the fourth person.
The reason the Holy Grail has never been recovered is because nobody is brave enough to ask Chuck Norris to give up his favourite coffee mug.
Chuck Norris doesn’t mow his lawn
He sits on his porch and dares it to grow.
Chuck Norris has a mug of nails instead of coffee in the morning.
Chuck Norris once threw a grenade and killed 50 people
Then the grenade exploded.