Why did the blond softball team always eat at Taco Bell before a game?
So they'd get more runs than the opponents.
A blonde and a brunette were jumping off a building. Who jumped first? The brunette. The blonde had to ask for directions...
What do you call a blonde holding a balloon? Siamese twins
How do you kill a blonde? Give her a gun and say it's a hair drier.
A blond pushes her BMW into the gas station and tells the mechanic that it died.
After working on it for a few minutes, he has it idling smoothly.
"What's the story?" she asked.
"Just crap in the carburetor," the mechanic replied.
"How often do I have to do that?" asked the blond.
What do you call an eternity? Four Blondes in four cars at a four way stop.
Why blondes can't make Koolaid? Because they can't get 2 quarts of water in that small koolaid envelope.
Two blondes are walking down the road when one says "Look at that dog with one eye!"
The other blonde covers one of her eyes and says "Where?"
How do you keep a blond busy for 2 days?
Give her a piece of paper that has "please turn over" written on both sides.
A blonde goes to a soda machine.
She puts in a dollar and gets a soda.
She does this again and again.
A man in line behind her asks why she is taking so long.
She says, "Can't you see I'm winning?"
On the first day of training for parachute jumping, a blonde listened intently to the instructor.
He told them to start preparing for landing when they are at 300 feet.
The blonde asked, “How am I supposed to know when I’m at 300 feet?”
“That’s a good question. When you get to 300 feet, you'll be able to recognize the faces of people on the ground.”
After pondering his answer, she asked, “What happens if there’s no one there I know?”
Why did the blonde stare at frozen orange juice can for 2 hours? Because it said 'concentrate'.
A boss tells a blonde applicant, "I'll give you $8 an hour, starting today, and in three months, I'll raise it to $10 an hour.
So, when would you like to start?"
"In three months."
What happens when a blonde gets Alzheimers disease? Her IQ goes up!
How do you keep a blond busy for 2 days? Give her a piece of paper that has "please turn over" written on both sides.
There was this guy who was married to a blonde, and each night he came home with a new blonde joke.
One night the wife got mad and decided to show him that she wasn't dumb.
She spent the whole next day learning all her states and capitals.
That night when he got home he told his joke.
She says, "I'm not so dumb. I know all of the states and capitals. Go ahead, quiz me."
He thought for a moment and asked, "What is the capital of Massachusetts?"
She quickly replied, "M"!
Why do blondes take the pill? So they know what day of the week it is.
What does a blonde say when you blow in their ear? "Thanks for the refill!"
How do you confuse a blond?
Tell them to count the stairs on a escalator.
A blonde was cruising down the highway at breakneck speed when a cop pulled her over.
“May I see your license and registration, please?” asked the cop.
Miffed, the blonde said, “I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you took away my license and today you want me to show it to you!”
What do you call 10 blondes standing ear to ear? A wind tunnel.
How do you change a blonde's mind? A1: Blow in her ear. A2: Buy her another beer.
A blond was taking helicopter lessons.
The instructor said, "I'll radio you every 1000 feet to see how you're doing."
At 1000 feet, the instructor radioed her and said she was doing great.
At 2000 feet, he said she was still doing well.
Right before she got to 3000 feet, the propeller stopped, and she twirled to the ground.
The instructor ran to where she crash landed and pulled her out of the helicopter. "What went wrong?"
The blond said, "At 2500 feet, I started to get cold, so I turned the big fan off."
How many blonde jokes are there?
One. The rest are all true stories.
What is a cool refreshing drink for a blonde? Perri-air.
Why do blondes wear their hair up? To catch everything that goes over their heads.
Why do Blondes always smile during lightning storms? They think their picture is being taken.
Why was the blonde upset when she got her Driver's License? Because she got an "F" in se*.
Doctor: "You look exhausted."
Blond: "I am. When your nurse phoned me yesterday and told me that I have to come today for a blood test, I spent the whole night studying for it."
Why did the blonde give up online shopping?
The trolley kept falling off the computer.
Why did the blonde take a ruler to bed? Because she wanted to measure how long he slept.
Why did the blond enter the tennis courts naked?
Because the sign said tennis shoes only.
Why did the Blonde go to Taco Bell? To pay her phone bill.
Why do blondes wear hooped ear rings. So they have somewhere to put their feet when having se*.
How do you drown a submarine full of blonds?
You knock on the door.
Why did the blonde only tie one shoe? Because on the bottom it said "Taiwan" (Tie one)
How can you tell a blonde has used your computer? There is white out on the screen.
Why was the blonde woman talking into an envelope? She was trying to send a voicemail!
A blond loses his check book, so he goes to the bank 2 days later to report it.
Bank manager: I warned you to be careful with your check book, because anyone can forge your signature.
Man: "I'm not a fool. I already signed all the checks so there is no space to forge my signature!"
One day a blond walks into a doctors office with both of her ears burnt.
The doctor asked her what had happened.
She says, "well... when I was ironing my work suit the phone rang and I picked up the iron instead of the phone by mistake.
"Well that explains one ear, but what about the other?"
"The bastard called again."
What happened to the blonde Ice Hockey Team? They drowned in Spring Training
“I got a compliment on my driving today,” said a blond to her friend.
There was a note left on my windshield it said “parking fine”.
Why shouldn't you even think about dating the blond outfielder who got hit in the head by a baseball?
Because she's a bad catch.
Why do blondes make bad bankrobbers? Because they tie up the safe and blow the guards
What goes: vroooom-schreech, vrooom-schreech, vroooom-schreech? A blonde at a flashing red light
What does a blonde do when her laptop computer freezes? She sticks it in the microwave!
What do you call 10 blondes at the bottom of a pool? Air Pockets What has 12 feet and an IQ of 40? A Blonde-tourage.
A blonde was cruising down the highway at breakneck speed when a cop pulled her over.
“May I see your license and registration, please?” asked the cop.
Miffed, the blonde said, “I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you took away my license and today you want me to show it to you!”
What's five miles long and has an IQ of forty? A blonde parade.
“I got a compliment on my driving today,” said a blonde to her friend.
There was a note left on my windshield it said “parking fine”.