Anti Pick Up Lines

The complete opposite of pick up lines - Insulting instead of complimenting!

Anti Pick Up Lines

Your name must be Calculus Homework, because I have no interest in doing you.
Are you the sun?
Because you should stay 93 million miles away from me.
Your name must be trigonometry, because you make me want to cry.
Can I check the tag on your clothes?
Why, because I'm made in heaven?
No, because your sweating profusely through your armpits and I want to avoid purchasing this fabric in the future.
You must sprinkle extra sugar in your cereal in the morning...
Why, because I'm so sweet?
No, because you're really fat.
Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?
Because it looks like you landed on your face.
Are you a red light because stop.
Ask me if I'm a tree.
Are you a tree?
No.
Are there people following you?
Because I'm seeing someone behind your back.
When I see your face there's not a thing that I would change...
Do you want to dance?
Yeah, sure.
Great, then I can sit there.
From the moment I saw you, I knew I would be spending the rest of my life trying to avoid you.
Are you a lumberjack?
Why, because I give you wood?
No, because you have masculine forearms and you're wearing Wranglers jeans.
Roses are red
Violets are cheaper
If I leave silent voicemails
Please don’t call me a creeper.
How much does a Polar Bear weigh?
I don't know.
About ten pounds less than you, fat-ass.
Did the Lord take the thunder from the skies, and put it in your thighs?
So how many cats do you have?