Words

I found a pen that writes underwater.
It writes other words too.
Why do fluorescent lights hum? Because they can’t remember the words.”
What are the magic words for a brainy magician?
Hocus sulcus.
If you were words on a page, you'd be what they call the FINE print!
People often accuse me of "stealing other's jokes" and being "a plagiarist." Their words not mine.
Three words to ruin a man's ego... "Is it in?"
Doctor, Doctor! I'm terrified of words that are also letters!
Oh you are? I see. Why?
After the doctor finished up with my prostrate exam the nurse came in and said three words I didn’t want to hear...
“Who was that?”
Someone said, "sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me."
So I through a dictionary at them.
You know what they say? Words.
I’d like to buy a catamaran or a yacht.
I’d like to get the best of boat words.
Some guy with cancer insulted my hair today.
Bald words for someone without it.
My professor accused me of plagiarizing.
His words, not mine.
A Pun, a Play on Words, and a Limerick walk into a bar....
No Joke.
Why do words and punctuation end up in court? To be sentenced.