Words

Why do fluorescent lights hum? Because they can’t remember the words.”
If you were words on a page, you'd be what they call the FINE print!
After the doctor finished up with my prostrate exam the nurse came in and said three words I didn’t want to hear...
“Who was that?”
Someone said, "sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me."
So I through a dictionary at them.
What are the magic words for a brainy magician?
Hocus sulcus.
Why do words and punctuation end up in court? To be sentenced.
I found a pen that writes underwater.
It writes other words too.
People often accuse me of "stealing other's jokes" and being "a plagiarist." Their words not mine.
I accidentally mixed up the words 'Jacuzzi' and 'Yakuza' online.
Now I'm in hot water with the Japanese Mafia.
My professor accused me of plagiarizing.
His words, not mine.
Some guy with cancer insulted my hair today.
Bald words for someone without it.
I’d like to buy a catamaran or a yacht.
I’d like to get the best of boat words.
Doctor, Doctor! I'm terrified of words that are also letters!
Oh you are? I see. Why?
Three words to ruin a man's ego... "Is it in?"
If I had to describe myself in 3 words?
Lazy.