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Words Jokes

Food Poems
She had so many chances
Yet she kept muffin it up
Butter intentions were good
Just not much coffee in her cup

Couldn’t make a good decision
Too much waffling back and forth
Always peppered with doubt
Should she head south, no maybe north

Still, she was fun at a party
I would say, hummus a tune
She’d say, Icing because I’m happy
As the words began to croon

Maybe that’s what’s most important
Omelet let her off the hook
So she’s always in a pickle
Doesn’t do things by the book

Once again, I’m gonna help her
Since she is such a good egg
I said, girl, you’d go much farther
If you weren’t such a nut Meg

(Mike Gentile)
Gnome Puns
What did the witness say at the gnome trial? In my gnome words here’s what happened.
The word Gnome is a corruption of the Latin word Genomus or earth dweller.
In other words, it's a misgnomer.
Funny Parenting Quotes
“I’ve got seven kids, the three words you hear most around my house are: “Hello, goodbye, and I’m pregnant”.

- Dean Martin.
Giant Puns
How do you talk to giants?
Use big words!
Mother Puns
My mother likes to tell people when I was little that I told her I loved her alphabet soup.
I didn’t, she just likes putting words in my mouth.
Writing Puns
The world tongue-twister champion just got arrested.
I hear they're gonna give him a really tough sentence
Classic Pick Up Lines
Baby, if you were words on a page, you’d be what they call ‘FINE PRINT’!
Funny Work Quotes
“Pride, commitment and teamwork are words they use to get you to work for free.” – Anonymous
Theater Puns
I went to a theater performance done on a bunch of dictionaries the other day...
It was a play on words.
Funny Marriage Quotes
“The most important four words for a successful marriage: ‘I’ll do the dishes.’”—Anonymous
Language Pick Up Lines
There are approximately 1,010,300 words in the English language.
But I could never string together enough words to properly express how beautiful you are.
Can you do sign language?
I wish I knew how to sign because I don't think any spoken words can describe how beautiful you are.
Baby, if you were words on a page, you’d be fine print.
April Fools Jokes
For April fools my girlfriend replaced my alphabits with Cheerios.
I have no words to say how angry I am.
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