While Jokes

Why did the orange get pulled over while driving?
He kept peeling out.
"The only time to eat diet food is while you're waiting for the steak to cook"- Julia Child
While cooking, I asked my wife if we have any Sage. She said "We have some ground sage"
I asked her "Do we have any sage that's not on the floor?"
Growth takes time. Be patient. And while you’re waiting, pull a weed.
— Emilie Barnes
"The only time to eat diet food is while you're waiting for the steak to cook."
— Julia Child
What do gnomes love to sing while gardening?
Gnome Worry, Bee Happy.
Q: Why did the fruit stop for some time while driving?
A: It wanted to make a quick pit-stop
Why did the peach think he was a pear for a while? He was feeling awfully green at first, but eventually his face became red.
Why does it take a while before a peach leaves a fruit basket? They have to give a goodbye peach first.
What’s the best time to eat a peach while watching a NASCAR race? During the pit stop!
What is it like to get paid smoldering at the camera while wearing expensive clothes?
A woman gets into an accident while driving. She tries to explain to the officer that it wasn’t her fault. She says the other guy was drinking and on his phone! The officer looks at the lady and says, "Mam, he could do that in his own backyard.”
A man has found water while digging in his backyard. For many years, he used the water at home saving tons of money until one day, the water stopped flowing. So he dug a little bit further and found water again and used it for years until it also dried up. This time, he went further, brought a digging machine, and dug a deeper hole until he found water.
Neighbors, annoyed by the noise, called the local sheriff who arrives to check what was happening in the backyard. The sheriff discovering the scene in the backyard says:
"Well, well, well ... What have we got here?"
Dear Optimist, Pessimist and Realist. While you were arguing about the glass of water, I drank it.
The Opportunist.
Last night while cooking, my serving spoon's handle broke off. My husband walked in and said:
How very un-ladle-like!
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