Uncle Jokes

My dad was born as a conjoined twin, but the doctors managed to separate them at birth.
I have an uncle, once removed.
My niece called my antisocial
I corrected her with "no, I'm uncle social" Then pointed to my sister and called her auntisocial.
My uncle was crushed by a piano...
His funeral was very low key.
My uncle moved to Spain to sing on stage by night and sell UPVC windows by day. He changed his name to....
Enrique Doubleglazius.
The Little Boy and the Gravestones A woman takes her little boy to visit their dead relatives' gravestones at a cemetery. The little boy has never been to a cemetery before. The woman first takes her son her grandmother Annie's gravestone. The initials under Annie's name say R.I.P. The little boy asks, "Mommy, what does R.I.P. stand for?" His mother replies, "It stands for 'Rest in Peace.' That means we wish for Grandma Annie's spirit to find peace in the afterlife." Then, they come across the gravestone of the woman's uncle Joe. The little boy asks, "Mommy, what does R.I.H. stand for?", pointing to the initials printed under Uncle Joe's name. "We really didn't like Uncle Joe." Said his mother.
My Mexican uncle takes anti-anxiety medication
It's for Hispanic attacks.
“I come from a stupid family. During the Civil War, my great uncle fought for the west!”
Rodney Dangerfield
My friend’s parrot lost his beak in a fan accident and he wanted to find a prosthetic. I sent him to my Uncle Tony.
He fits the bill.
At the bar mitzvah ceremony, the Jewish onion greeted his uncle by saying 'Shallot'.
My father was born as a conjoined twin, but the doctors managed to separate them at birth.
So I have an uncle, once removed.
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