Turning

“What turning forty means to me? I need to take my pants off as soon as I get home. I didn’t used to have to do that, but now I do.”
Tina Fey
Why did the optimistic electrician lose his job?
He kept on turning negatives into positives.
The Gasing Nun
The Gasing Nun In California Unleaded gas went to $4.00 a gallon last Thursday. Sister Mary Ann, who worked for a home health agency, was out making her rounds visiting homebound patients when she ran out of gas. Fortunately, an Exxon station was just a block away. She walked to the station to borrow a gas can and buy some gas. The attendant told her that the only gas can he owned had been loaned out, but she could wait until it was returned. Since Sister Mary Ann was on the way to see a patient, she decided not to wait, and walked back to her car. She looked for something in her car that she could fill with gas, and spotted the bedpan she was taking to the patient. Always resourceful, Sister Mary Ann carried the bedpan to the station, filled it with gasoline, and carried the full bedpan back to her car. As she was pouring the gas into her tank, two Baptist ladies watched from across the street. One of them turned to the other and said, 'If it starts, I'm turning Catholic.'
What does a disappointed mama turkey tell her kids?

If your father were to see you now, he would be turning over in his gravy!
How do you know when a bike is thinking?
You can see its wheels turning.
Milk Drinkers are Turning to Powder.