Turning

My dad just told me something that sent a chill down my spine.
He said, “I’m turning off the heating.”
“The best way you hurt rich people is by turning them into poor people” – Billy Ray Valentine (Eddie Murphy) Trading Places
What does a disappointed mama turkey tell her kids?

If your father were to see you now, he would be turning over in his gravy!
“Mother Nature is providential. She gives us twelve years to develop a love for our children before turning them into teenagers.”

- William Galvin.
“Mother Nature is providential. She gives us twelve years to develop a love for our children before turning them into teenagers.”

- William Galvin.
This morning, my dad told me something that gave me the chills.
He said, “I’m turning off the heating.”
Look who’s turning 100,
Your life couldn't be brighter,
With enough candles on your cake,
You have the world's best lighter.


(Kevin Nishmas)
The Gasing Nun
The Gasing Nun In California Unleaded gas went to $4.00 a gallon last Thursday. Sister Mary Ann, who worked for a home health agency, was out making her rounds visiting homebound patients when she ran out of gas. Fortunately, an Exxon station was just a block away. She walked to the station to borrow a gas can and buy some gas. The attendant told her that the only gas can he owned had been loaned out, but she could wait until it was returned. Since Sister Mary Ann was on the way to see a patient, she decided not to wait, and walked back to her car. She looked for something in her car that she could fill with gas, and spotted the bedpan she was taking to the patient. Always resourceful, Sister Mary Ann carried the bedpan to the station, filled it with gasoline, and carried the full bedpan back to her car. As she was pouring the gas into her tank, two Baptist ladies watched from across the street. One of them turned to the other and said, 'If it starts, I'm turning Catholic.'
How do you know when a bike is thinking?
You can see its wheels turning.
My marriage is slowly turning into a melon farm. I keep hearing Honeydew this, Honeydew that.
Call me your Christmas tree, because you're turning me on.
Milk Drinkers are Turning to Powder.
Why did the optimistic electrician lose his job?
He kept on turning negatives into positives.
“What turning forty means to me? I need to take my pants off as soon as I get home. I didn’t used to have to do that, but now I do.”
Tina Fey
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