Took

Who took all of the toilet paper at the store?
Assholes.
I took my boat out to go fishing today. I looked over and saw my neighbor’s dock was parallel to mine.
I guess I found my self in a real “para-docks”
I took my dog's bone away from him.
She was fur-rious.
If you took all the people in the world who fall asleep during church, and laid them head to toe in a straight line
They would all be a lot more comfortable.
A blonde stormed up to the front desk of the library and with a screaming voice said, “I have a complaint!”
“How can i help you?” said the librarian looking up at her.
“I borrowed a book last week and it was horrible!”
Puzzled by her complain the librarian asked “What was wrong with it?”
“It had way too many characters and there was no plot!” said the blonde.
The librarian nodded and said, “Ahhh. So YOU must be the person who took our phone book."
A blonde was cruising down the highway at breakneck speed when a cop pulled her over.
“May I see your license and registration, please?” asked the cop.
Miffed, the blonde said, “I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you took away my license and today you want me to show it to you!”
Some local engineers took a train for a service, but the vicar said it was blocking the aisle.
I went on a date with a Chess World Champion the other night.
It took her about 10 minutes to pass the salt.
A burglar broke into my house and took all my condiments, now I'm Spiceless in Seattle.
Why was the football pitch a triangle?
Because someone took a corner
My DJ friend took my advice and simplified his salad recipe.
he dropped the beet.
Did you hear about the crime family that took over the wine importing business?
They call themselves the Sip-ranos!
What happened to the man that took the 5 o’clock train home? He had to give it back!
A fired newspaper editor took an ex-press train out of town.
Some local engineers took a train for a service, but the vicar said it was blocking the aisle.



A train track and a motorway walk into a bar. The train track says “a pint for me, please, and one for the road.”