Took

I took my boat out to go fishing today. I looked over and saw my neighbor’s dock was parallel to mine.
I guess I found my self in a real “para-docks”
My DJ friend took my advice and simplified his salad recipe.
he dropped the beet.
Who took all of the toilet paper at the store?
Assholes.
Why was the football pitch a triangle?
Because someone took a corner
A burglar broke into my house and took all my condiments, now I'm Spiceless in Seattle.
Some local engineers took a train for a service, but the vicar said it was blocking the aisle.
My girlfriend made me one of those sculpted 3D cakes for my birthday but wouldn't stop reminding me how it took her all day to decorate it..
..which is surprising since to me it looked like a piece of cake.
If you took all the people in the world who fall asleep during church, and laid them head to toe in a straight line
They would all be a lot more comfortable.
I took my dog's bone away from him.
She was fur-rious.
Did you hear about the crime family that took over the wine importing business?
They call themselves the Sip-ranos!
What happened to the man that took the 5 o’clock train home? He had to give it back!
A fired newspaper editor took an ex-press train out of town.
Some local engineers took a train for a service, but the vicar said it was blocking the aisle.



A train track and a motorway walk into a bar. The train track says “a pint for me, please, and one for the road.”
I went on a date with a Chess World Champion the other night.
It took her about 10 minutes to pass the salt.
A blonde was cruising down the highway at breakneck speed when a cop pulled her over.
“May I see your license and registration, please?” asked the cop.
Miffed, the blonde said, “I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you took away my license and today you want me to show it to you!”