Took

A burglar broke into my house and took all my condiments, now I'm Spiceless in Seattle.
What happened to the man that took the 5 o’clock train home? He had to give it back!
A fired newspaper editor took an ex-press train out of town.
Some local engineers took a train for a service, but the vicar said it was blocking the aisle.



A train track and a motorway walk into a bar. The train track says “a pint for me, please, and one for the road.”
My girlfriend made me one of those sculpted 3D cakes for my birthday but wouldn't stop reminding me how it took her all day to decorate it..
..which is surprising since to me it looked like a piece of cake.
Some local engineers took a train for a service, but the vicar said it was blocking the aisle.
Why was the football pitch a triangle?
Because someone took a corner
Who took all of the toilet paper at the store?
Assholes.
Did you hear about the crime family that took over the wine importing business?
They call themselves the Sip-ranos!
A blonde was cruising down the highway at breakneck speed when a cop pulled her over.
“May I see your license and registration, please?” asked the cop.
Miffed, the blonde said, “I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you took away my license and today you want me to show it to you!”
I took my dog's bone away from him.
She was fur-rious.
If you took all the people in the world who fall asleep during church, and laid them head to toe in a straight line
They would all be a lot more comfortable.
My DJ friend took my advice and simplified his salad recipe.
he dropped the beet.
I went on a date with a Chess World Champion the other night.
It took her about 10 minutes to pass the salt.
I took my boat out to go fishing today. I looked over and saw my neighbor’s dock was parallel to mine.
I guess I found my self in a real “para-docks”