Success Jokes

"The only place success comes before work is in the dictionary."
~ Vince Lombardi
“The elevator to success is out of order. You’ll have to use the stairs… one step at a time.” — Joe Girard
Don’t be distracted by criticism. Remember, the only taste of success some people get is to take a bite out of you.” – Zig Ziglar
“All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence; then success is sure.” — Mark Twain
“There’s no secret about success. Did you ever know a successful man who didn’t tell you about it?​” -​Kin Hubbard
“If A equals success, then the formula is A = X + Y + Z. Where X is work. Y is play. Z is keep your mouth shut.”​ — Albert Einstein
“If hard work is the key to success, most people would rather pick the lock.” — Claude McDonald
“The only thing that ever sat its way to success was a hen.” — Sarah Brown
"For marriage to be a success, every woman and every man should have her and his own bathroom. The end." — Catherine Zeta-Jones
“In Hollywood, a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk.” - Rita Rudner
"Hey girl, I don't have power and success, but I'm funny."
- Modern Family
“Anybody can sympathize with the sufferings of a friend, but it requires a very fine nature to sympathize with a friend’s success.“
— Oscar Wilde
Q: How did the tiger perform during the show?
A: He was a roaring success.
“My formula for success is rise early, work late and strike oil.” JP Getty.
Why was the skeleton a success at work?
He had a head for business.
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