Stops Jokes

A cowboy is walking down main street in nothing but his boots and hat...
Shortly after he got into town, a sheriff stops him.

"Sir, why in the hell are you walkin down the street naked as a jaybird?"

"I can explain! See I met this girl named Sally. Well, I took her back to my place and she took her shirt off... So I took off mine. Then she took her pants off... And I took off mine. She whipped off her britches... And I slipped outta mine.

"After that she laid down and hollered, 'Go to town cowboy!'

"So here I am."
Your heart stops when you sneeze. Kind of like what happens when I think of you.
The Lone Ranger and Tonto are riding their horses.
Tonto stops his horse, jumps off and puts his ear to the ground.
He looks up at the Lone Ranger and says, "Buffalo come".
The Lone Ranger asks, "How do you know that?"
"Ear sticky."
“Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing up is like shoveling the sidewalk before it stops snowing.”

- Phyllis Diller.
What happens when a cow stops shaving?
It grows a Moostache.
The peach was late for work because it had to make some pit stops on the way.
A physics teacher is about to jump off a high bridge
When a friend stops him saying, "Don't do it, you have so much potential."
The human brain is a wonderful thing. It starts working the moment you are born, and never stops until you stand up to speak in public.
Scientist are shocked after discovery of a new african bee species that can keep on flying even after their heart stops.
Local tribes in fear of a zombee apocalypse
An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer. The second one orders half a beer. The third one orders a fourth of a beer. The bartender stops them, pours two beers and says, “You guys should know your limits.”
A man meets a fairy.
"I grant you 2 wishes" , says the fairy.
"I want a bottle of beer that never gets empty" , says the man.
He starts to drink. After two minutes he stops drinking and the bottle is still full.
"And youre second wish?" the fairy asks.
"Another one of those."
As the nurse is making the rounds at the old folks home...
She stops by Carl's room and sees him putting black shoe polish all over his penis. Dismayed, she exclaims "no, no, no Carl, you misunderstood. I said remember to turn your clock back."
A cowboy and a red Indian are walking through the desert...
After a short time the Indian stops the cowboy before dropping to his knees and placing his ear to the ground. Upon standing the Indian says firmly "Buffalo come"

"That's amazing" says the cowboy, "How can you tell that?"

The Indian replies...

"Sticky face"
What do you do when your dishwasher stops working? Slap her on the as* and tell her to get back to work.
When the moisture from the sky stops falling
It really stops waning
Want to start your day laughing? Register to our Daily Joke!
Did you mean:
Continue With: Facebook Google
By continuing, you agree to our T&C and Privacy Policy