Jokes > Tags > She

She

My wife told my four year old daughter that she couldn’t use her plastic IKEA knife to slice mangos.
I said “Yeah kid, that’s just not going to cut it.”
You're so ugly when your wife takes you to the beach they ask her what she used for bait.
My girlfriend said we aren't getting married until she has a pear shape
It's the reason we cantaloupe
My friend was telling me about how a shark attacked her while she was diving
I told her, that bites.
My ex just sneezed and I accidentally said "bless you"
Now she just staring at the bushes confused wondering who said that.
I asked a pretty, young homeless woman if I could take her home. She smiled at me and said yes.
The look on her face soon changed, however, when I walked off with her cardboard box.
My girlfriend keeps saying that a small dick is nothing to worry about.
I still wish she hadn't got one.
My girlfriend really changed after she became vegan
It’s like I’ve never seen herbivore.
My wife just yells from upstairs and asks "Do you ever get a shooting pain across your body, like someone's got a voodoo doll of you and they're stabbing it?"

Sounding concerned, I reply, "No..."

A few seconds of silence, and then she shouts: "How about now?"
My wife said to me, if you don't get off of the computer and help with the housework, she will bash my head on the keyboard.
But I think she's JokiSDGF4s475241GHHHNM,GDSSSDFSDFSDFADGHKLL;/UYRT5555rrTTTTTTEEEECbbbbbbbbII003333454587111,KSDFUJYTFD3u8ol;b ki90l.YJNMLGDSFSDASEDRUKOML'M :][EYRTYB;JIOI#M#KYFU6DCK ;/[]/
My girlfriend accused me of cheating.
I told her she was starting to sound like my wife.
Why did Princess Leia contract coronavirus?
Because she went to woo Han.
I broke up with my girlfriend after she contracted the corona virus
I’ve decided to wash my hands of her.
My girlfriend told me she's breaking up with me because of my football obsession.
I told her she'll need to wait till the summer window if she wants a free transfer.
My wife refused to go to a nude beach with me
I can't believe she is so clothes-minded.