I can't believe I got a life sentence for a little insider trading.
The judge called it "organ harvesting", but that's just semantics.
You know you’re getting old when…
You begin every other sentence with, “Nowadays…”
How to Start a Sentence...
How to Start a Sentence... Teacher asks their class of children to come up with a sentence beginning with "I" After a few children come to the front with predictable statements about having a cat or a certain toy, a child steps up and says "I is-" and is immediately interrupted by the teacher, "I am!" She side-eyes the teacher, frowns and ignores her teacher, starting again "I is-" again, the teacher interrupts her, this time a little more snappily "It's I am! Use the proper word!" The girl turns to look at her this time, eyelids drooped with exasperation. "Fine," she sighs "I AM the ninth letter of the alphabet."
What do you call a joke that isn’t funny? A sentence.
What's the difference between a cat and a complex sentence?
A cat has claws at the end of its paws and a complex sentence has a pause at the end of its clause.
If ugly were a crime, you'd get a life sentence.
Isn't it dangerous to use your entire vocabulary in one sentence like that?
Why didn't the sentence have a period?
Because it was pregnant.
I was arrested by the grammar police for not using the full stop correctly.
I am now looking at a long sentence.
I violated grammar rules, so I got punished with the death sentence.
An astronaut did a huge crime. He broke the law of gravity and hence, got a suspended sentence.
How do you describe an acorn in one sentence? In a nutshell, it is an oak tree.
What did the period say to the sentence? We better stop now!
Why did the run-on sentence think it was pregnant? Its period was late.
Why aren't prostitutes allowed near prisons?
Because a sentence shouldn't end with a proposition.
Why do Jewish mothers make great parole officers?
They never let anyone finish a sentence!