Some signs either make no sense or too many! On a bathroom door: "Toilet out of order. Please use floor below." In a laundromat: "Automatic washing machines: please remove all your clothes when the light goes out." In a london department store: "Bargain basement upstairs." In an office: "Would the person who took the step ladder yesterday Please bring it back? Or further steps will be taken." Outside a secondhand shop:  "We exchange anything bicycles, washing machines, etc. Why not bring your wife along and get a wonderful bargain?' Notice in health food shop window: "Closed due to illness." Spotted in a safari park: "Elephants please stay in your car." Seen during a conference: "For anyone who has children and doesn't know it, There is a day care on the 1st floor." Notice in a farmer's field: "The farmer allows walkers to cross the field for free, but the bull charges." Message on a leaflet: "If you cannot read, this leaflet will tell you how to get lessons." On a repair shop door: "We can repair anything. (please knock hard on the door The bell doesn't work)."

Ben went on safari with his wife and mother-in-law. One evening, while still deep in the jungle, the Mrs. awoke to find her mother gone. Rushing to her husband, she insisted on them both trying to find her mother. Ben picked up his rifle, took a swig of whisky, and started to look for her. In a clearing not far from the camp, they came upon a chilling sight: the mother-in-law was backed up against a thick, impenetrable bush, and a large male lion stood facing her. The wife said, "What are we going to do?" "Nothing," said Ben, "The lion got himself into this mess, let him get himself out of it."