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Put

Whenever I feel like wining, I remind myself to put a cork in it.
A balding magician had an act where he'd put a rabbit on his head and make it disappear...
The hare vanished into thin hair.
I’m reading a book about anti-gravity and it’s impossible to put down.
Why do bananas have to put on sunscreen before they go to the beach?
Because they might peel.
Where are neurons put in jail when they commit a crime?
A nerve cell.
I don't know where I put my queen after the last chess game.
Maybe she's lost I need to check.
How do you drive a man crazy? A. Put a naked woman and a six-pack in front of him. Then tell him to pick only one.
What's the best way to force a male to do sit ups? Put the remote control between his toes.
This morning when I put on my underwear I could hear the fruit-of-the-loom guys laughing at me.
Rodney Dangerfield
This is the sort of English up with which I will not put.
Winston Churchill
“A woman is like a tea bag – you can’t tell how strong she is until you put her in hot water.”
Eleanor Roosevelt
Do you know what kind of stock to use when making neotropical near-passerine bird soup?
Doesnt matter, as long as you put Toucans in.
When it came to tilling his garden by hand, he put a lot of heart into it.
He was gung hoe.
When we put our two hearts together, we can’t be beat.
Why are ghosts no good at running a railway? A. Because they can’t even put on a skeleton service!