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Put

Beach Puns
Why do bananas have to put on sunscreen before they go to the beach?
Because they might peel.
Chess Puns
I don't know where I put my queen after the last chess game.
Maybe she's lost I need to check.
Quotes
This morning when I put on my underwear I could hear the fruit-of-the-loom guys laughing at me.
Rodney Dangerfield
This is the sort of English up with which I will not put.
Winston Churchill
“A woman is like a tea bag – you can’t tell how strong she is until you put her in hot water.”
Eleanor Roosevelt
Brain Puns
Where are neurons put in jail when they commit a crime?
A nerve cell.
Toucan Puns
Do you know what kind of stock to use when making neotropical near-passerine bird soup?
Doesnt matter, as long as you put Toucans in.
Wine Puns
Whenever I feel like wining, I remind myself to put a cork in it.
Train Puns
Why are ghosts no good at running a railway? A. Because they can’t even put on a skeleton service!
Book Puns
I’m reading a book about anti-gravity and it’s impossible to put down.
Head Puns
A balding magician had an act where he'd put a rabbit on his head and make it disappear...
The hare vanished into thin hair.
Jokes For Women
How do you drive a man crazy? A. Put a naked woman and a six-pack in front of him. Then tell him to pick only one.
What's the best way to force a male to do sit ups? Put the remote control between his toes.
Heart Puns
When it came to tilling his garden by hand, he put a lot of heart into it.
He was gung hoe.
When we put our two hearts together, we can’t be beat.
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