How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb? Three. One to screw in the bulb and two to listen to him brag about the screwing part.
Several years ago, I lost all my hair. Yes, I'm bald. But, I still keep my comb. I bring it with me everywhere still.
I just can't part with it.
Did you hear about the farm dog who liked to strip ears of corn?
He was part husky!
What’s that green head of something that is the main part of a salad?
Lettuce think about it.
What is a vegetable's favourite part of the song?
When the beet drops!
Why does Satan not eat the bread part of the pizza?
Because he's the Anti-Crust!
I dropped my cactus the other day
Worst part is, I caught it
What is the hardest part about being a tree? You have so many limbs, but you still can’t walk.
What’s the coolest part of a skeleton?
The hip.
What’s the worst part about breaking up with a Japanese person?
You have to drop the bomb twice before they get the message.
Whats the hardest part about eating a vegetable?
The wheelchair.
What part of the brain deals with knowledge about plants?
The treefrontal cortex.
“The worst part of online shopping is having to get up and get your credit card from your purse.”
If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.
What human body part is long, hard, bendable, and contains the letters p.e.n.i.s?
The spine.