Now Jokes

One night I looked up at the stars and thought, ‘Wow, how beautiful.’ But now that I’m looking at you, nothing else can compare.
Is Spotify down? Well the music in my house is now up. Wanna come by and listen to records?
“Stomach: I will now demonstrate a blue whale’s mating call.”
― Unknown
“All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt.”
― Charles M. Schulz
“Red meat is not bad for you. Now, blue-green meat—that’s bad for you!”
— Tom Smothers
"All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt."
— Charles M. Shulz
Are you a fruit, because Honeydew you know how fine you look right now?
Even The Beatles think that we should "Come Together." "Right now."
"Well, Art is Art, isn't it? Still, on the other hand, water is water. And east is east and west is west and if you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does. Now you tell me what you know."
If you think I’m hot now, wait until you see what I turn into at midnight.
Schwarzenegger retired from TV to kill bugs. Now he’s an ex-terminator.
I really wish my five-year-old son would make up his mind! First, he said he wanted a treehouse in the backyard, but now, he says he doesn't need it…
Took me twenty years to grow that thing!
I was looking forward to eat my rice bowl.
But my brother, like always, ate them. And now he's experiencing really bad headaches.

I guess it's because he has a history of having my-grains.
"Red meat is not bad for you. Now blue-green meat, that's bad for you!" - Tommy Smothers
Girl, you must be blue because you’re the hottest star around right now.
Want to start your day laughing? Register to our Daily Joke!
Did you mean:
Continue With: Facebook Google
By continuing, you agree to our T&C and Privacy Policy