Military Jokes

What part of the military do zombies serve in?
The marine corpse.
Why did the military use acid?
To neutralize the enemy base.
What gun does a military chef use?
A salt rifle.
Why did Immanuel Kant lend his machine gun to forces plotting a military coup?
Because he willed that his Maxim could make a general rule.
Why did the citrus fruit join the military?
“Because it was a navel orange.”
That's Not It... A general noticed one of his soldiers behaving oddly. The soldier would pick up any piece of paper he found, frown and say, "That's not it" and put it down again. This went on for some time, until the general arranged to have the soldier psychologically tested. The psychologist concluded that the soldier was deranged, and wrote out his discharge from the army. The soldier picked it up, smiled and said, "That's it."
Military submarines are a deep navy blue in color.
"Military justice is to justice what military music is to music."
The US army secretly trains pigeons to help overthrow hostile foreign governments.
It’s a military coo.
Why do volleyball players join the military? They want to gain extra experience in the service.
Why is being in the military like a blow-job? A. The closer you get to discharge, the better you feel.
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