Horny Jokes

I just asked the wife to get into her nurse's uniform.
She said "Why? Are you feeling horny?"
"No we need bread!"
Did you hear about the misbehaving unicorn? Sure, but I never though that these creatures could get so horny.
Knock knock!

Who's there?

Jamaican.

Jamaican who?

Jamaican me horny.
Knock knock!

Who's there?

Ima.

Ima who?

Ima horny, let's screw.
What did the horny woman say about her coffee?
That coffee’s not the only thing that’s hot and wet this morning.
A Peaceful Marital Bed Two married friends are out drinking one night, when one turns to the other and says, "You know I don't know what else to do. Whenever I go home after we've been out drinking, I turn the headlights off before I get to the driveway. I shut off the engine and coast into the garage. Take my shoes off before I go into the house, I sneak up the stairs, get undressed in the bathroom, stick my foot in the toilet and pee down my leg to prevent splashing sounds. I ease into bed and my wife STILL wakes up and yells at me for staying out so late." His friend looks at him and says, "Well, you're obviously taking the wrong approach. I screech into the driveway, slam the door, storm up the steps, pee hard into the toilet water, then use the full flush, throw my shoes in the closet, undress in the bedroom, then jump into bed, slap her on the butt and say 'WHO'S HORNY?!' She always acts like she's sound asleep. Works every time!"
How do you tell the difference between a frog and a horny toad?
A frog says, "Ribbit, Ribbit" and a horny toad says, "Rub it, Rub it".
Why did the horny duck circle the baseball field?
She hoped to catch some fowl balls.
Why are goats and rhinos attracted to each other?
Because they are both horny animals.
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