Homeless

When I moved into my new igloo my friends threw me a surprise house-warming party.
Now I'm homeless.
I HATE when homeless people shake their cans of change at me.
I get it, you have more money than me, you don't have to show off.
I saw a homeless dude and gave him a dollar.
Then I saw a homeless woman and gave her $0.77.
Today, I donated my phone, watch, and $500 to a homeless man. Words cannot describe how happy I felt
When he put his gun back in his pocket
The other day a homeless man asked me for some change so I got my wallet out and realized I only had a £20 note.
I thought to myself, "Do I really want this money being spent on drugs?"
I decided I didn't so I gave him the money
If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is it naked or homeless?
What does a homeless woman use for a vibrator? Two flies in a bottle.
Why are there only two pallbearers at a homeless guys funeral? There are only two handles on a garbage can.
What do you call a professional beach volleyball player who doesn’t have a boyfriend or a girlfriend? Homeless.
I knew this gambler.
He bet it all on a bluff.
He is now homeless.
What did the homeless man get for christmas?
Nothing.
I asked a pretty, young homeless woman if I could take her home. She smiled at me and said yes.
The look on her face soon changed, however, when I walked off with her cardboard box.
I’ve been dating a homeless woman recently, and I think it’s starting to get serious…
She’s asked me to move out with her.
Whats the best thing about dating homeless chicks? You can drop them off anywhere.
Homeless man attacks kid with a knife
Don’t worry the kid was fine. He had a knife.