My wife bought me an expensive umbrella and she’s been holding it over my head ever since.
If I had a star for every time you brightened my day, I would be holding a galaxy.
Why was the man holding a bottle of ketchup? Because it was raining cats and hot dogs.
Dating is a lot like fishing.
Sure, there’s plenty of fish in the sea, but until I catch one, I’m just stuck here holding my rod.
What’s the difference between a blonde and a bowling ball?
Girl holding bowl colorful variety game indoor.
A physics teacher writes a question on a board:

"A 40 kg child that 100 cm tall is holding a parent's arms swinging them 0.5 revolutions a second. If the parent let go of the child after 2 seconds, where will the child end up?"

A few moments later, the teacher then comes over and reads a student's answer:

"In a foster home."
What do you call a blonde holding a balloon? Siamese twins
I saw a guy on the train holding a newspaper in front of his face.
He was behind The Times.
I don't think I need a spine.
It's holding me back.
Which birds are good at holding things together?
How did the gambler know his hand would stink?
Because he was holding deuces.
I was holding a bottle of laundry detergent when all of a sudden it exploded, completely drenching my hands.
Oh well. I guess my hands are Tide.
What’s small, furry and slightly purple? A koala holding its breath!
Why should you worry about the math teacher holding graph paper?
She’s definitely plotting something.
A man is holding a bee, what is in his eye?