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Has

How can you tell that it’s Ronald McDonald at a nude beach?
Because he has sesame seed buns.
A lorry load of pears has crashed on the motorway. It’s caused a huge jam.
My girlfriend said we aren't getting married until she has a pear shape
It's the reason we cantaloupe
Stop saying your life is a joke.
A joke has meaning.
I’m sure my wife has been putting glue on my weapons collection.
She denies it, but I’m sticking to my guns.
Why can’t a car play football?
Because it only has one boot.
Turns out my dad who’s a locksmith still has to go to work during lockdown.
He’s a key worker, you see.
Corona virus has caused our local supermarket to sell out of pasta.
All because of a fusilli people.
John Travolta has been diagnosed with the Corona Virus.
He had chills that were multiplying.
This Corona virus is a blessing
My wife doesn't want to travel anywhere.

She no longer buys anything online, since everything comes from China.

she doesn't go to the mall to avoid the crowds.

she spends all of her time in a mask with her mouth closed.

Best thing that has ever happened to me.
Who would win in a fight between a kangaroo and a zebra?
The zebra. Because he has so many black belts.
What's a pirate's least favorite letter?
Dear sir,

Your internet access has been terminated due to illegal usage.

Sincerely, your service provider.
I just quit my job as a train driver a few weeks ago.
I can't help but feel that my life has gone off the rails since.
A recent finding by statisticians found that the average human has one breast and one testicle.
A photon is going through airport security. The TSA agent asks if he has any luggage. The photon says, "No, I'm traveling light."