Harder Jokes

Why is it harder for Orange Juice to slide across a floor than apple juice?
Pulp Friction.
A tutor who taught on the flute,
tried to teach two young tooters to toot.
Said the two to the tutor,
"Is it harder to toot or,
to tutor two tooters to toot?"
What does orange juice and my dad have in common?
They both slap harder when mixed with alcohol.
Crocodiles are easy. They try to kill and eat you.
People are harder. They pretend to be your friend first.
- Steve Irwin
Why do you press harder on the buttons of a remote control when you know the batteries are dead?
King Hero of old Syracuse had doubts that made him frown.
"Perhaps my goldsmith did not use pure gold to make the crown."
Since proof of mischief must be strong to put a thief in collar,
The king who feared his judgment wrong called on his science scholar.
"Archimedes, friend of old, find me the solution!
Is my crown pure solid gold, or is that an illusion?"
The scholar's task was serious; he struggled hard with math.
His mind was near delirious until he poured his bath.
He noticed how the water pushed him up as he stepped in.
He thought about it harder as he stroked his bearded chin.
"The weight of displaced liquid should always let me know
When any golden solid has a density too low!"
"Eureka!", he resounded. "I have such a clever mind".
Yet his claim was unfounded 'cause he left his clothes behind!

(by Robert Z)
Because of you, I laugh a little harder, cry a little less, and smile a lot more.
Hey I am like a Rubik's cube the more you play with me the harder I get!
I quit my job at the concrete plant.
My job was getting harder & harder.
What does a rubix cube and a Penis have in common? The more you play with it the harder it gets.
ā€œI think Smithers picked me because of my motivational skills. Everyone says they have to work a lot harder when Iā€™m around.ā€ ā€” Homer Simpson
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