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Hard

Water Puns
What did the egg say to the boiling water?
I might have some trouble getting hard, I just got laid this morning!
Doctor Puns
When I woke up from my accident, I was shocked when the doctors told me I broke all my fingers.
It was hard to grasp.
Chess Puns
I like playing chess with old people in the park, but it gets hard to find 32 of them each time.
Jokes For Women
How do you find a blind man in a nudist colony? It's not hard.
How are husbands like lawn mowers? They're hard to get started, they emit noxious fumes, and half the time they don't work.
Hand Puns
Working as a dock hand is hard,
but it's wharf it.
Always think hard before you get married because on one hand you have a cool ring but on the other hand you don’t.
Quotes
“When I hear somebody sigh, ‘Life is hard,’ I am always tempted to ask, ‘Compared to what?'”
Sydney J. Harris
“Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.”
George Carlin
Dirty Puns
I wouldn’t say it’s easy living with erectile dysfunction.
But it’s not hard.
Arm Puns
Did you hear about the poker player who lost his arm and got a prosthetic replacement?
He’s finding it hard to deal with.
One Liners and Short Jokes
What human body part is long, hard, bendable, and contains the letters p.e.n.i.s?
The spine.
Engineering Puns
I asked a train engineer how many times his train had derailed. He said, “I’m not sure, it’s hard to keep track.”
Train Puns
My boss said to me, “You are the worst train operator ever. How many trains have you derailed in the past year?”
I said, “I’m not sure. It’s so hard to keep track.”
I asked a train engineer how many times his train had derailed. He said, “I’m not sure, it’s hard to keep track.”
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