Extra Jokes

"I refuse to spend my life worrying about what I eat. There is no pleasure worth forgoing just for an extra three years in the geriatric ward." - John Mortimer
“Excercise? I thought you said extra fries.”
“Christmas has me feeling extra Santa-mental.”
Christmas has me feeling extra Santa-mental.
If I had a nickel for every time my roommate stole from me, he would have an extra $50.
Why was the knight fighting the tournament with a sword made from cheddar cheese? Because the cheese was extra sharp!
Why do Christians in Japan always put an extra cup at the table?
For God's sake.
I got fired from my job as a taxi driver. It turns out my customers didn't like it when I tried to go the extra mile.
I know you’ve turned me down before, but I’m asking for an extra shot.
The day after your birthday,
you look in the mirror to see:
a) you've got a zit from eating all that cake;
b) your love handles have expanded a half inch;
c) you singed your eyebrows blowing out the candles.

The day after your birthday,
a) you require six extra hours of sleep;
b) you can't find your living room under the birthday debris;
c) you wonder how you could possibly have done THAT.

The day after your birthday, it's time to:
a) return some gifts (what IS that, anyway?);
b) call your friends and apologize for yesterday;
c) get out of the country, fast.

The day after your birthday...
we should all look so great
and have it so good!

Happy Birthday!
Appreciate yourself and your life!

(Joanna Fuchs)
Good game--you certainly scored all your extra points with me.
I have some extra chairs in my garage for emergency seat-uations.
Why did the farmer decide not to buy an extra phone? It was because he already had one for onion rings.
Give me extra time; I’ll prove to you that I’m worth it.
Where did the Terminator find extra olive oil??
Aisle B, back.
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