Evidence Jokes

“She is the only evidence of God I have seen, with the exception of the mysterious force that removes one sock from the dryer every time I do my laundry.”- St Elmo's Fire
If a robber robs a house under renovation and accidentally leaves his handprint on wet cement,
Does that mean that the police have concrete evidence?
After two minutes she said all charges were being dropped due to a lack of evidence.
“Don’t accept your dog’s admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful.”

- Ann Landers.
I heard that burglars used grass to pick a lock and gain entry to a local house, but the evidence may have been planted.
Do you know why the beaver was found guilty?
Because the prosecutor had damming evidence.
Why did the skeleton have to testify in court?
Because he was a body of evidence.
Are you a parking ticket? Because you're evidence that I made a mistake.
The innocent blueberry got easily framed for the crime because the evidence was a strawberry plant.
My girlfriend dressed up as a policewoman for Halloween, told me that I was under arrest on suspicion of being good in bed.
After 2 minutes all charges were dropped due to lack of evidence.
The coffee shop kept samples of burnt coffee as evidence to fire their roaster.
It was used as grounds for dismissal.
Advice From Uncle Murphy
Advice From Uncle Murphy A few Murphy Laws and Advice... Whenever I find the key to success, someone changes the lock. To Err is human, to forgive is not a COMPANY policy. The road to success??.. Is always under construction. Alcohol doesn't solve any problems, but if you think again, neither does Milk. In order to get a Loan, you first need to prove that you don't need it. All the desirable things in life are either illegal, expensive or fattening. Since Light travels faster than Sound, people appear brighter before you hear them speak. Everyone has a scheme of getting rich.. Which never works. If at first you don't succeed.. Destroy all evidence that you ever tried. You can never determine which side of the bread to butter. If it falls down, it will always land on the buttered side. Anything dropped on the floor will roll over to the most inaccessible corner. 42.7% of all statistics are made on the spot. If you have paper, you don't have a pen. If you have a pen, you don't have paper. If you have both, no one calls. After a long wait for bus no.20, two 20 number buses will always pull in together and the bus which you get in will be crowded than the other. The last person to be fired or quit is responsible for all the errors until another person is fired or quits.
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