Certain Jokes

Once there was an elephant,
Who tried to use the telephant—
No! No! I mean an elephone
Who tried to use the telephone—
(Dear me! I am not certain quite
That even now I’ve got it right.)
Howe’er it was, he got his trunk
Entangled in the telephunk;
The more he tried to get it free,
The louder buzzed the telephee—
(I fear I’d better drop the song
Of elephop and telephong!)

(Laura E. Richards)
I asked the land beside the ocean if he was certain he wasn't beach.
But he was pretty shore.
A certain Leafs right-winger was sued by the Louisiana government. He was
Owen N'awlins.
The 70s/80s aesthetic has recently become pretty popular in France.
They say it has a certain Gen X sais quoi.
The pilot was lucky. He always had work. Whenever he made an application, it was almost certain that he would land a job.
I've been diagnosed with a type of amnesia that makes me deny the existence of certain 80's bands.
There is no cure.
“God put me on this Earth to accomplish a certain number of things. Right now, I am so far behind I will never die."
~ Bill Watterson
I enjoy the cold weather
But only to a certain degree.
“No animal should ever jump up on the dining-room furniture unless absolutely certain that he can hold his own in the conversation."
- Fran Lebowitz
Want to start your day laughing? Register to our Daily Joke!
Did you mean:
Continue With: Facebook Google
By continuing, you agree to our T&C and Privacy Policy