My kid was having trouble with the peanut butter because the jar was too deep and the knife was too short
I tried to help, but I couldn’t get to the bottom of it

Food Quotes

“I believe it’s a cook’s moral obligation to add more butter given the chance.”
― Michael Ruhlman

Funny Poems

Two frogs fell into a bucket of cream
And must paddle to keep afloat;
But one soon tired and sank to rest
With a gurgling sigh in his throat.
The other paddled away all night,
And not a croak did he utter,
And with the coming of morning light
He rode on an island of butter.
The flies came thick to his island home
And made him a breakfast snappy.
The milkmaid shrieked and upset the pail,
And froggy hopped away happy.
We can all find a moral in this rhyme,
And should hasten at once to apply:
Success will come in the most difficult time
If we paddle and never say die!

Shakespeare Insults

Thou art as fat as butter.

Nuts Puns

Why do comedians often start their act with peanut butter jokes? They love to warm up the crown by spreading the laughter.

Why is peanut butter a bad secret keeper? Because it tends to spread it and not keep it.

Why was Officer Peanut Butter out in the road? Because he was directing a traffic jam.

What sandwich spread makes people itch?
Flea-nut butter.

When is the peanut butter due to arrive?
In a Jif.

Why was the peanut butter upset at his retirement party?
He was roasted.

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Butter.
Butter who?
I butter nut tell you.

Why was there peanut butter in the middle of the road?
It went with the traffic jam.

What competition do nuts participate in?
The peanut butter cup.

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Peanut.
Peanut who?
Peanut butter open the door!

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