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Brought

Flower Puns
What did the flower say to his wife when he brought her home a present?
I hope thistle cheer you up.
Dragon Jokes
There was an exotic pet race to take place.

Adam brought an iguana. "Hes big and fast so hes sure to win!"
Daniel brought a komodo dragon. "He can go really fast when theres a treat for him at the end!"
John brought a leopard gecko. "Hes small but does his best!"

The bets were placed, the race took place and Johns leopard gecko won. When asked after the race how they felt his competitors had only one thing to say:

"Sure no surprises there. We knew he was going to win from the gecko."
Science Puns
My parents always brought me up to believe the sky's the limit.
Which was a shame because I wanted to be an astronaut.
Puns
My coworkers brought me a bunch of cards to celebrate my birthday
Each one gave me one with a single word printed on it. The first said "extravagant", while the next one said "surplus". These were followed by cards that said "abundance", "excess", and "overflowing". Before I read any more I had to stop because I was overcome with emotion. It was all too much.
Yo Mama So Stupid
Yo Mama so stupid she brought a ladder to go to high school.
Dragon Puns
There was an exotic pet race to take place.

Adam brought an iguana. "Hes big and fast so hes sure to win!"
Daniel brought a komodo dragon. "He can go really fast when theres a treat for him at the end!"
John brought a leopard gecko. "Hes small but does his best!"

The bets were placed, the race took place and Johns leopard gecko won. When asked after the race how they felt his competitors had only one thing to say:

"Sure no surprises there. We knew he was going to win from the gecko."
Dirty Short Jokes
Name the five great kings that have brought happiness in to peoples lives Drinking Licking sucking f**king and wanking.
Doctor Puns
A small child was brought into hospital the other day after swallowing several small toy horses.
The doctors report that he is in a stable condition.
Bible Puns
Who was the greatest comedian in the Bible?
Samson. He brought the house down.
Christian Puns
Who was the greatest comedian in the Bible?
Samson. He brought the house down.
Football Puns
I almost brought a screwdriver to the football game, but was stopped by security
They said that match-fixing isn't allowed.
Dog Puns
Did you hear the story about a Golden Retriever who brought a ball back from miles away?
It was far-fetched.
Ski Puns
How did the blind guy from Denver enjoy a bit of apres skiing on Lookout Mountain during the last white-out?
He brought along his skiing-eye dog.
Soccer Puns
The soccer player brought string to her game because she wanted to tie the score.
Funny Limericks
There was an Old Man of Columbia,
Who was thirsty, and called out for some beer;
But they brought it quite hot,
In a small copper pot,
Which disgusted that man of Columbia.
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