Breath Jokes

Are you Charlotte Brönte? Because you're a breath of fresh Eyre.
“Like all parents, my husband and I just do the best we can, and hold our breath, and hope we’ve set aside enough money to pay for our kids’ therapy.”
—Michelle Pfeiffer
Are you a pranayama teacher? Because you just took my breath away.
Why do vampires clean their teeth three times a day?
To prevent bat breath.
Sandy was a chocoholic,
The worst I've ever seen!
If she didn't eat some daily,
She'd become crazy mean!

It didn't matter what kind it was,
Ice cream, cake, pie or candy,
As long as it was chocolate,
Sandy was fine and dandy!

Then one day the unthinkable happened,
To the chocolate loving miss,
While eating her favorite candy,
She choked on a chocolate kiss!

"Death by chocolate," the coroner concluded,
As to the cause of Sandy's death.
At least she died doing what she loved,
Eating chocolate til her last breath.

(Kim Merryman)
Don't get too close to a vampire, they have a serious case of bat breath.
You must be Niagara Falls because you’ve taken my breath away.
Want to get some air? You took my breath away!
I hope you know CPR, baby because you take my breath away.
Sorry, can you please go away? Everytime you come around you take my breath away.
I am sure it is not this jog, you definitely just took my breath away.
Girl are we doing high altitude training because you just took my breath away!
Sorry I'm so quiet this evening. You simply took my breath away.
Do you have an inhaler? You took my breath away.
What do you call a hobbit who has bad breath? He is known as Lord of Onion Rings!
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