Borrow

Why did the elephant ask to borrow a suitcase?
Because he only had a little trunk.
A man walks into the library.
“Hello ma’am I’d like to borrow a book about committing suicide.”
The librarian replies: “Whose going to bring it back?”
Where do shellfish go to borrow money?
The prawn broker.
Where do shellfish go to borrow money?
The prawn broker.
Steven Wright
Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won’t expect it back.
here do lobsters go to borrow money? The prawn broker.
You: Can I borrow a quarter?
She: why? (if she says sure or something else get her to ask you why).
You: so I can call my mom and tell her I just met the girl of my dreams.
A man who makes tie dye shirts was trying to borrow money to expand his small business. While filling out the paperwork, he had a heart attack and collapsed, spilling bottles of colored dye all over his documents.
The poor man dyed a loan.
The Dangers of Drinking and Driving
The Dangers of Drinking and Driving I would like to share a personal experience I had about drinking and driving. This might save you the cost and embarrassment of being arrested for DWI. As you know, people have been known to have unexpected brushes with the authorities from time to time, often on the way home after a "social session" with family or friends. Well recently, it happened to me. I was out for the night to a party and had more than several margaritas coupled with a bottle of rather lovely red wine. It was held at a great Italian restaurant. Although relaxed, I still had the common sense to know I was slightly over the limit. That's when I did something I've never done before... I took a taxi home. On the way home there was a police roadblock, but since it was a taxi they waved it past and I arrived home safely without incident. These roadblocks can be anywhere and I realized how lucky I was to have chosen to take a taxi. The real surprise to me was that I had never driven a taxi before. Not sure where I got it, and now that it's in my garage I don't know what to do with it. If you want to borrow it, give me a call.