My grandfather recently passed, and I discovered in his journal that he has an immense hatred for sloths, pandas, and koala bears. Looking back, it was obvious.
He was always going on about those darn tree-huggers.
What do you call a cemetery for bears?
Bearial grounds.
Why do bears have sticky fur?
Because they use honey combs.
What kind of car do bears drive?
How do bears keep their houses cool in summer?
Bear conditioning.
Why do bears have fur coats?
Because they look silly wearing jackets.
What do polar bears have for lunch?
Ice burgers.
What color socks do bears wear?
They don’t wear socks, they have bear feet.
What do you call bears with no ears?
What do you call two polar bears jerking each other off?
My wife asked why I prefer gummy bears to gummy worms.
I said that gummy worms are beneath me.
If You're Outdoors, Wear a Bell Please
If You're Outdoors, Wear a Bell Please "Important Announcement: In light of the rising frequency of human - grizzly bear conflicts, the Alaska Department of Fish and Game is advising hikers, hunters, and fishermen to take extra precautions and keep alert of bears while in the field. They advise that outdoorsmen wear noisy little bells on their clothing so as not to startle bears that aren't expecting them. They also advise outdoorsmen to carry pepper spray with them in case of an encounter with a bear. It is also a good idea to watch out for fresh signs of bear activity. Outdoorsmen should recognize the difference between black bear and grizzly bear dung. Black bear dung is smaller and contains lots of berries and squirrel fur. Grizzly bear dung has little bells in it and smells like pepper."
What do Chinese bears wear over their faces when they’re robbing banks?
Did you hear about the panda that had a slight stutter?
Seems it’s a story that bears repeating.
What do Chinese bears eat for breakfast?
What kind of bears dissolve in water?
Polar bears.