Awesome Jokes

“Watching a dog try to chew a large piece of toffee is a pastime fit for gods. Mr. Fusspot’s mixed ancestry had given him a dexterity of jaw that was truly awesome. He somersaulted happily around the floor, making faces like a rubber gargoyle in a washing machine.”—Terry Pratchett
I got a new cell phone for my wife...
Pretty awesome trade if you ask me!
Have you seen that awesome video of a Koala drinking tea high up in the trees?
It’s super high Koala-tea
Everyone is jealous of us
We make an awesome couple
Life with you seems perfect
Forever, I want to be in this bubble
Today I want to preach
Just one simply philosophy
That a handsome guy like you
Deserves a pretty girl like me
Happy birthday!
Once I visited France,
And learned a new, awesome dance.
I twirled,
And I swirled,
And then I lost my pants.
You’re turtle-ly awesome.
What did you call an awesome geologist? A rockstar!
My girlfriend just told me I'm a poor listener.
Which upset me massively because I'm an awesome whistler.
Why didn’t my husband laugh at my awesome ice cream joke?
Because he was laughtose intolerant.
Our game is as tight as our spandex. This would be an awesome team motto.
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