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Average Jokes

Quotes
“Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.”
George Carlin
“I saw a study that said speaking in front of a crowd is considered the number one fear of the average person. Number two was death. This means to the average person, if you have to be at a funeral, you would rather be in the casket than doing the eulogy.”
Jerry Seinfeld
Soccer Pick Up Lines
I can score more often than the average soccer player.
Monkey Puns
TIL that, on average, humans eat more bananas than monkeys.
This is partially due to the fact that most humans don’t like the taste of monkey.
Food Quotes
"I'm not sure how the average American would differentiate National Dessert Day from any other day."
– Andy Borowitz
Jokes For Women
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
Math Puns
Why did the student get upset when his teacher called him average?
It was a ‘mean’ thing to say!
Did you hear about the statistician who drowned crossing the river?
It was three feet deep on average.
Tableware Puns
What do you call a decent cup of coffee?
Just an average joe.
One Liners and Short Jokes
I use to support higher spending on education. But then I learned a harsh truth. No matter how smart we we make children,
50% of them will still be below average.
Puns
Where are average things manufactured? The satisfactory.
Clever Jokes
A recent finding by statisticians found that the average human has one breast and one testicle.
A recent finding by statisticians shows the average human has one breast and one testicle.
The world’s population is split sort of evenly between men and women, making the average human part male, part female, and a complete pain to shop for.
Funny Animal Quotes
“The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.”

- Andy Rooney.
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